Down Time

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I woke up at a quarter to eleven on Saturday morning. It had to have been one of my all time records. I never sleep in that late. I aboslutely hate the idea of wasting half the day sleeping. And to top it all off, my blood sugar level was a beautiful 18.9 (insert swear word). Waking up at that level is one of the worst things that I experience with diabetes. Being that high for the 10 hours I’d been sleeping is a horrible thought. The guilt of the potential damage I am doing to my body. The frustration of not having forced myself up during the night to check.

All in all, it was a pretty lousy start to the day. But it was hardly unexpected. It had been a busy and eventful couple of days. There were a couple of mornings where I started work earlier than normal. And of course, I didn’t make the time to get to bed any earlier like I should have.

Battling end of the week exhaustion, we also celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Friday. This, of course, meant a lot of bolus worthy treats to indulge in. Not to mention the delicious dinner that went before it. I can remember Mum handing me my slice of cake, asking if it was too big. It was too big. But, not wanting to draw attention or pity to myself in front of guests, I insisted it was fine. I really should have said something.

So, back to Saturday. I felt groggy. Lousy. Guilt ridden. I did something I never do. Its the one thing that I probably haven’t done since just before I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went back to bed in the middle of the day. Last time I did this I was on the verge of being diagnosed with diabetes. I had lost my appetite, my energy and willingness to go about my day. Today, I wasn’t unwell. I just needed to recharge.

Gotta say, it was just so nice to pull the blankets up, stretch my legs out and rest my head on the soft pillow as my blood sugar levels came down. I had The Goldbergs playing on my laptop and a cup of tea by my side as the afternoon light was streaming in through the window.

Turns out some down time was was just what I needed. I got up a few hours later feeling completely refreshed. My blood sugar had come down to a perfect 6.6. And I was ready to start all over again.

Recipe: Chunky Steak Pies

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Today’s post is inspired by the Foods on Friday prompt during Diabetes Blog Week. It was one of my favourite topics to read and write about, and yet I’m disappointed that I haven’t included more food posts on this blog. Food is actually quite a big part of my life and my diabetes management, and I do cook often at home.

With Monday being a Public Holiday, I volunteered to cook lunch at home. It was a pretty quick decision, which is very unusual for the indecisive person that I am. But I felt like having pies, so that’s what I decided to make.

I made these using Pie moulds, and to be honest that part of the recipe is damn time consuming. If you want to save yourself a lot of time, you could probably just line a baking dish with Shortcrust Pastry and pour the filling into there.

The filling has a beautiful sweetness from the tomatoes, savouriness from the steak and bacon and a nice thickness thanks to the flour – it was just perfect if I may say so myself. It does have a rich flavour, so I don’t recommend going overboard on the Salt.

This recipe makes 15 individual pies, which will probably give you enough for leftovers (and hopefully a break from cooking) the next day.

The pastry does contribute a significant proportion of carbohydrates and fat towards the pie, so I would recommend sticking to a serving of one with a side of salad or vegetables. There’s also a good source of protein and iron from the meat, for sustained energy.

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Ingredients:

  • 1 can diced or crushed tomatoes (approx. 400g)
  • 2 rashers bacon, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp plain flour
  • 1kg rump steak, diced
  • 2 cups water
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste
  • 1 tsp fresh Thyme leaves
  • 3 sheets Pampas 25% reduced fat frozen Shortcrust Pastry
  • 3 sheets Pampas 25% reduced fat frozen Puff Pastry
  • 15 pie moulds or a medium baking dish

Method:

  1. Heat oil in a medium saucepan over high heat and fry onion and bacon for 3 minutes or until softened.
  2. Add steak and cook for 5 minutes or until well browned.
  3. Add tomatoes, water, flour and thyme and bring to the boil.
  4. Reduce to a medium low heat and simmer for 30-60 minutes or until sauce thickens.
  5. Place Pastry sheets on the bench to thaw for 5-10 minutes.
  6. Preheat oven to 180ºC.
  7. Cut rounds from the Shortcrust Pastry to line the Pie moulds.
  8. Divide steak filling evenly between Pie moulds.
  9. Cut rounds from the Puff Pastry to cover the Pie moulds. Pierce the edges with a fork to seal.
  10. Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden.

Nutrition Information:

(estimate per pie)

  • Carbs: 36g
  • Fat: 10g
  • Glycemic Index Estimate: Medium

Three Stages of Dealing with Hypo Grief

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I’m ashamed to admit that hypos have gotten the better of me in recent weeks. My diabetes management certainly isn’t as terrible as this post makes it look, but I definitely think what I go through during these times is too funny not to share (because we have to look back and laugh at ourselves, right?). So, here’s what I like to call my Three Stages of Dealing with Hypo Grief.

Stage 1: Anger and Frustration

Going low is the most frustrating thing. And the more often it happens, the more you start to feel like you’re slipping into a hole. And the further down you get, the harder it is to find your footing and climb on out.

And during times like these, that frustration boils up to the point of anger. Like wanting to shout. Like wanting to slam the door. Like wanting to throw something against the wall. Like wanting to punch the wall as hard as I can. I want to feel the pain, so I have something physical to match my anger. I have a million different emotions boiled up inside of me that I need to let out.

Stage 2: Emotional Eating

So, the wave has finally crashed. I’ve let all of my hypo related frustrations and anger out of my system. My mind is finally ready to start processing what’s happened, and its also time to start thinking about fixing that hypo.

A hypo that I’m not expecting will really tug hard on my emotional heartstrings. Especially after a day where I felt I did my very best. I ate healthy. I thought very carefully about my insulin dose. I didn’t take a second helping at lunch. I didn’t have a snack in the afternoon. I tried so hard and yet I still failed. So what’s the point? Screw it. I reach for the most delicious thing I can find to cure my hypo. Like a bag of chips. A tub of ice cream. A box of chocolate. And I’ll sit on the couch and eat my hypo sorrow away. And no, not just the 20 grams to bring me back up into range. No, today I’m going to finish off the entire packet. Just because.

Stage 3: Acceptance and readiness to move on

So, I’ve gotten angry, and my emotions have taken over my rational thinking and I’m finally ready to move on. I’m ready to accept that sometimes diabetes is plain unpredictable. Sometimes we approach diabetes with the best of intentions. And yet we still don’t get the results we expect. Sometimes these things are just out of our control. And its our job to accept this, pick up the pieces and move on.

I’m So Glad I Found the Diabetes Online Community

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A few months ago when I was still finding my feet in the blogosphere, I joined a Facebook group for bloggers in my city. And for weeks and weeks and weeks I’d seen post upon post upon post pop up in my newsfeed with blogger questions, requests and promo opportunities. And lets not forget all those pesky notifications telling me that Claire and 7 others commented on a top post in that group.

A lot of these groups (quite rightly) don’t want you selflessly promoting yourself and every blog post. And being a new blogger, I didn’t really feel comfortable sharing anything there until I felt I had found my feet and had some confidence in my blog. This particular group recently started a ‘Sharsie Friday’ kinda thing, where everyone is invited to share their latest and greatest posts for everyone to read over the weekend. So, last Friday, I finally plucked up the courage to share a link to my blog.

When I got home, I sat down to read some of the blog links that were posted. I was hoping to make connections with some of the other blogs, and was also expecting a little traffic to come my way too. But neither of those things happened.

The majority of blog links there seemed to be from people blogging about beauty, fashion and shopping (absolutely nothing wrong with that). But to be honest, they just weren’t really blogs that I could relate to. I didn’t feel that I could add anything of value by commenting on a blog that was trying to help me find my style for under $49. Just as I’m sure the beauty blogger telling me about that must have mascara brush wouldn’t be interested in reading about my diabetes.

And judging by the activity in that Facebook group, it seemed that their blogging goals were the complete opposite of mine. They seemed to be seeking instant fame and monetisation from their blogs, with talk of building media kits and contacting companies for promo/product opportunities. I, meanwhile, am here to share my story and hopefully make a connection with you. I want to read about your stories and be inspired too. I do selfishly hope to build a strong brand for myself and this blog over time. But its not the sole reason that motivates me to write week after week.

So what does?

Its the Diabetes Online Community. And all of you that are a part of it and make it so strong. I’m so glad that I found it. So glad that it exists. Every day I’m inspired by all of the stories, tweets, blog posts, links and diabetes trends I discover. I’ll read something and instantly come up with three new ideas to write about. Its the first thing I look at when I’m having my morning coffee. At night its sometimes a struggle to look away from Twitter and go to sleep. But better yet, I’m always inspired to push myself one step further. To be healthier. Stronger. More resilient to the ups and downs of life with diabetes. To be the very best version of myself that I can be.

So, I guess the morale of this story is just how important is it to write for a clearly defined niche audience, rather than the masses. And networking with the right people. Because exposure means absolutely nothing if the audience isn’t interested in your work. Can’t connect to it. Can’t relate to it. And a blog means nothing if you don’t give back and be a part of that community.

And as for that Facebook group? Well, I’m now open to suggestions of any good diabetes related ones…

Welcome Back, Winter

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Happy first of June and happy first day of Winter! (well, if you live in the Southern Hemisphere that is…)

After some stormy weather, the cold nights and mild sunny days have set in nicely over the last week or so. I’m now heading to work in the dark with my car demister cranked up high and my jacket sleeves stretched well over my hands. If its really cold, you might even see smoke come out of my mouth as I inhale and exhale the cold air. The days can be quite pleasant, and I’m lucky that I do have some time after work to enjoy the afternoon sunshine.

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But the moment it disappears, that cold air sets in for the night once again. Time to crank up the heater and grab a blanket. Enjoy all the soups, roasts and other delicious comfort food that can be somewhat difficult to navigate through for someone with diabetes. And some fantastic sleeping weather.

Its by far my favourite time of year.

I know a lot of you will disagree. But where I live, the average temperature for much of January, February and March is well above 30 degrees. And if I’m lucky, there’ll be heatwaves of closer to 40 degrees. Its hot. Its uncomfortable, sweaty, lazy kind of weather where you can’t really be bothered doing anything. And the air-con just doesn’t seem to allow for a comfortable night’s sleep.

So what’s this got to do with diabetes, you ask? Well, the cold weather just gives me a positive mindset. And I like to think that positive mindset has somewhat of a halo effect on my diabetes management. I feel so much more active in the brisk weather. I feel more focussed. And I daresay that the brisk weather makes me work harder to get warm in the morning at work. That’s gotta be good for my blood sugar levels, right? And with a positive mindset, its much easier to embrace the highs and accept the lows of day to day life with diabetes.

That’s all I really wanted to say today. AND its a public holiday. Which means I’ll be able to take my time with my morning coffee and brekky this morning.

Bring on the next couple of months…