Finding a Moment Away From Diabetes
I’m sitting here, right now, staring out at the most beautiful view of the night sky. It’s incredible. It’s breathtaking. And I’m not even perched at the top of a windy lookout tower. I’m watching from the comfort of my hotel living room, thanks to its height and magnificent floor to ceiling windows. I could actually sit here for hours and hours staring endlessly at it.
I’m watching the headlights and break lights of cars illuminated in the night sky, trying to follow them with my eyes along those roads winding out of the city. Building lights and corporate names jump out at me among the sea of bright, colourful city lights that stretch for miles and miles. Lights that get smaller and smaller the further out that I look. Lights that start to twinkle when I focus my eyes on them, like the streets at Christmas time.
Down there is the rest of the world. The world that I’m usually a part of. A world where diabetes is ever present by my side. The streets that I walk each day, with my meter and insulin pen tucked safely in my jeans and jacket pockets. The day job that I try and focus on doing between the hours of 7 and 3, whilst my mind is caught up in the “I wonder what my blood sugar levels are” game. The foods that leave me with insulin dose and carb counting questions to answer. And the pillow that I can never rest my head upon at night with total certainty.
And then there’s here. Here, up above, I feel like I’m in my own little world. Tucked away in my corner, looking down and taking it all in. Right now, in this very moment, it feels like time has stopped. It feels as though, albeit temporarily, I get a break from that great big world. And from my friend diabetes that follows me around like a heavy backpack on my shoulder (sometimes).
Right now, I get a special moment. A moment where I don’t need to check my blood sugar. A moment where I don’t need to dial up an insulin dose. And a moment where I don’t need to correct a hypo. Its the closest I’ll ever get to being free from diabetes. In this one special moment, I can just sit here with my cup of tea and take it all in.
And it’s bloody amazing.