Taking a Plunge

The shimmering blue water slowly began to emerge as I made my way up the highway, perfectly contrasted and coordinated at the same time with the bright blue sky above.

I manoeuvred into the right turn lane and made my way into the carpark, which was almost deserted on a Thursday afternoon. I grabbed my blue and white AMSL drawstring bag containing a towel, bottle of sunscreen, a dry shirt and glucose tabs.

My insulin pump was clipped to the inside of the pocket in my swim shorts, still running as per normal. My blood sugar was 9.3 before I left home. With 2 units of insulin left to act from lunch and some protein in play, I felt fairly confident to let it ride.

My comfy brown thongs with blue and red striped cotton straps came off as I buried my feet in the soft, white sand. I made my way closer to the shore line and perched my bag in the sand, setting up ship.

I disconnected my pump from the infusion site on my stomach and wrapped it up in the beach towel in my bag, not overly worried about insulin spoiling on that breezy thirty degree day. I slapped a load of sunscreen over my pale skin, recalling sore throbbing red marks of sunburn that were a painful reminder of previous non-compliant days in the sun.

The gentle wind whipped through my hair and burst onto my face. I could feel the refreshingly cold water hit my toes as I began to wade my way into the water. The salty sea spray hit my face as the waves crashed over the water and the bottom half of my body became submerged underneath it.

With the top half of my body feeling the cold of the sea spray, I took a plunge beneath the water.

As the waves pushed their way over me, crashed and then receded, with the sun shining brightly over the clear blue sky, I wasn’t thinking about diabetes. I wasn’t thinking about work. I wasn’t thinking about life.

I was drifting there, savouring the moment.

It felt good.

Less Is More?

The only resolution I set for myself in 2018 was to be more productive.

I want to get more shit done, by spending less time working at it.

(I know what you’re thinking right about now, but just hold up and let me explain for a minute…)

One of my greatest shortcomings is this uncontrollable urge to get anything and everything done in one hit. It’s easy to tell myself that I’ll smash this column out tonight, or that I’ll clear out my e-mail inbox in half an hour and then put my feet up and binge watch another two episodes of The Crown.

But that doesn’t always produce my greatest work.

I’ll tire of the seemingly infinite task at hand, and end up wasting away more time yawning, rubbing my eyes or trawling through social media once again. The longer I sit there, the more I begin to obsess over my work and do more harm to it than good. There are days where I’ll go to bed feeling lousy about myself, failing to remember the last spare moment I had to take some time out for myself.

So, back to my new motto – less is more. I’m learning to set boundaries. Spend an hour writing, or working, or whatever it is that I’m doing, and then stop and come back to it again later. Or even tomorrow.

Walking has been so therapeutic for me over the last few months, and just taking the time out every day to feel the afternoon sun on my face and collect my thoughts makes me feel a bit more human. Which is especially important when I’m living with a condition that involves so many different robot parts and feels monotonous at the worst of times.

I’m also trying to read more. Reading was a pastime I really enjoyed as a child, and I’ve really fallen off the bandwagon in recent years. I’m being realistic and aiming for a book a month. Besides, sleep feels so much more…restful after burying myself in a good book before bed. And, you know, it’s nice to take a break from reading about diabetes once in a while…

So what does all of this have to do with diabetes?

Tending to things like my self care and mental wellbeing helps me to feel better about living with this damned condition. I manage better. I’m not stuck in autopilot mode so often and then swearing at myself over a stupid mistake.

Besides, it feels surprisingly good not to have a resolution directly centred around my diabetes for a change…

What’s on your bucket list this year?