Diabetes

Just Like Federer

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Earlier this month, I watched Roger Federer make his return to tennis after six months off at the Hopman Cup in Perth. At the time, I hardly would have expected him to make it to the Men’s Final of the Australian Open.

His last grand slam title was back in 2012, and he’s now well into his 30s. He was also matched against one of his greatest rivals, Rafael Nadal, against whom he did not have the odds of beating.

Yet last night, I was glued to the edge of my seat as I watched Federer break back his serve in the fifth set, and then earn a break of his own that saw him serve for the match.

It’s pretty remarkable to think that Roger Federer has been playing tennis for as long as I can remember. Although he hasn’t won a grand slam title since Wimbledon 2012, it hasn’t stopped him from continuing to play tennis.

I suppose the same can be said of Venus Williams, who scored runner up in the Women’s Final on Saturday night after a few quiet years. Mirjana Lucic Baroni, who made the Women’s Semi Finals for the first time since 1999! And Rafael Nadal, who is constantly prone to injury, but continues to persevere.

My diabetes management is feeling like a very endless task at the moment. In January, the victories feel like they have been outweighed by frustration. The motivation to diligently attend to self management tasks subsequently disappeared. The care factor has just not been there.

Yet watching some of these seasoned tennis players over the past two weeks has been so inspiring. For many of them, the victories have been far and few. Yet they continue to persevere. Their endurance never wavers. They are passionate, and enjoy what they do.

Unlike these guys, I can’t say that I am passionate about, or enjoy tending to a broken pancreas.

However just like Federer, I am confident that I will persevere to see the victories once again.

Taking a Break from My Insulin Pump

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I spent two weeks disconnected from my insulin pump last month. It was honestly the best decision I could have made for my diabetes management in the long run. Going back to the simplicity of injections gave me some much needed relief from the stress the pump was inflicting on me, as well as a lot of time to reflect on how I wanted to manage my diabetes going forward. With a much clearer head today, I will add some more to what I wrote about this pump break last month.


As we were heading into warmer weather and the festive season towards the end of last year, I was spending a lot more time being physically active. Watering the garden, Christmas shopping, setting up Christmas lights and activity around the house. Suddenly, a lot of what I had learned and experienced over the past few months from using an insulin pump had changed.

Being plugged into rapid acting insulin all the time felt exhausting. I was going low all the time. Even simple things, like watering the garden, would send my blood sugars spiralling downward. I felt like a single day without a hypo was rare. I often found myself eating my way out of impending hypos, and trying to predict what my blood sugar levels were going to do to me before leaving the house.

I felt really, really lost. I had very little confidence in my basal rates, or insulin to carb ratios. I had no idea whether it was my basal rates, or my insulin to carb ratios that were sending me low. I no longer felt safe leaving the house for half an hour without a meter and tonnes of skittles to fall back on. I’m pretty sure I had made the connection between physical activity and my lows, but I just felt far too overwhelmed at the thought of fine tuning everything once again.

I was nervously pacing up and down on a Friday night in December, deliberating over a site change or a Lantus injection. I was equally scared about going back to using Lantus, given how uneven and inconsistent it had been for me in the past. What finally got me over the line was telling myself that insulin pumping was no longer working for me. I knew that it was the source of all of this frustration, and that I didn’t need to use it if I didn’t want to.

The days that followed were quite honestly the happiest I’d felt in several weeks. The freedom from that annoying chunk of a pump, and the relief from not having to stress about basal insulin sending me low from a short walk. I was honestly so happy at the time, I was convinced that this might be the way forward for me. I was so relieved, I kept telling myself how much better injections were compared to the last few weeks I’d had on the insulin pump.

I went from having days like this.


To having days like this.


I anticipated I’d probably only last a few days without my pump. But injections were going surprisingly well for me. Everytime I stared at my pump, I just knew that I didn’t feel ready to hook back onto it. At the one week mark, I even stashed it in a drawer because I didn’t want to look at it.

My pump break gave me some much needed time to clear my head. I plugged back in for a few days over Christmas, because I knew that I would need the temporary basal rates and extended boluses to help me cruise through all of the food. I was fully prepared to take it off again after Christmas, but quite honestly I haven’t felt any desire to do so since.

I’ve been setting temporary basal rates around physical activity, and they seemed to do the trick from the get go with minimal hiccups. I’ve been setting a -30% temporary basal rate before I get into the car to go to the shops, and switching my insulin delivery to “off” for half an hour if I go for a short walk around the block in the afternoon. I think I’ve had about 2 or 3 hypos in the New Year, which is not only a big relief, but tells me that I must be doing something right. 

If it weren’t for Christmas, I’m not sure whether I would still call myself an insulin pumper today. In those two weeks, I was absolutely fine with the possibility of going back to injections permanently if that was what worked best for me. 

At the moment, things are travelling well with the pump. Things are making sense once again, and I honestly have not felt any desire to be without it since Christmas. 

Could this change again down the track? Who knows? This is diabetes, after all…

What I have learned, however, is that I absolutely will not hesitate to take a pump break if the need arises again.

My diabetes, my rules…

The First Hypo of 2017

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I went seven days into the new year without a hypo. And then this happened…

My blood sugar level was 8.8 an hour after dinner on Saturday night. I let things be and went about brushing my teeth, clearing the debris of diabetes waste on my desk, and putting away the clothes and shoes I had worn earlier in the day.

When I checked my blood sugar an hour later, my meter came back 19.8. What? I couldn’t believe I had risen so quickly in such a short space of time. I probably should have tested again, just to be certain.

I entered the reading of 19.8 into my insulin pump so that it could suggest a correction dose for me. I reactively overrode my pump’s suggestion, giving the whole correction dose and ignoring insulin I had on board.

When it was time for bed, I suspected as much. Sure enough, my meter came back with a 2.9. I reached for my insulin pump, which told me I had 3 units of insulin on board to eat my way out of.

I shoved four Chocolate Cream biscuits into my mouth, struggling to recall how many I had eaten by the time I got to (what I think was) number 4. Side note: Christmas biscuit tins are proving to be awesome hypo supplies. Unless they’re tins of shortbread. Shortbread is simply too good to waste on hypos…


I shuffled into the kitchen to weigh one of the biscuits, just to be sure that the serving size was right and I had eaten enough carbs.

As I lay down on my bed, and placed the back of my head on the pillow, the hypo really hit me. The sweat, the shakiness, the feelings of exhaustion, the paralysis. I didn’t want to do anything else other than lie there, willing my eyes not to shut.

Those hypo feelings weren’t subsiding, but almost half an hour had passed and I knew it was time to check my blood sugars again.

My meter came back at 1.8.

I frantically shoved another 2 biscuits in my mouth. My hypo brain decided that those Chocolate Cream biscuits needed to washed down with a glass of Cadbury drinking chocolate. I shuffled my way into the kitchen, driven only by the cravings of chocolate milk. Stirring the powder and the milk together in my glass was absolutely painful. Making sure I scraped every visible bit of powder stuck to the bottom of my glass in my stirring action, and waiting for it to come to that perfectly blended consistency before I could skull it down.

Satisfied, I shuffled back to my bed, once again waiting. The next check came back at 3.6, followed by a 4.7 minutes later. I knew I had overtreated. Not wanting a repeat of the night’s events, I set consecutive alarms for the next three hours until I had brought my levels back into range.

An Ode to the Medic Alert Bracelet

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We’ve never liked each other very much, have we?

From the day that nurse with diabetes came to visit me in the hospital, showing me one of your siblings in the hopes of altering my enthusiasm towards the initial idea of you.

The initial idea of you branding me as a diabetic. Labelling me, for the whole world to see. Marking me with a permanent reminder of the condition that I will be stuck with for the rest of my life.

I’ve tried. I really have.

But you annoy me. Your expanda band sticks to my skin. I can’t help but fidget with you. ALL THE TIME. My wrist feels trapped, and suffocated every single time I have you on.

You leave my Mum and Dad’s words ringing in my ears.

“But it could save your life!”

I convince myself that it will never happen to me. An accident.

I convince myself that I’ll at least be conscious enough to utter the words “diabetes” if I ever find myself on the stretcher in an ambulance.

“But it could save your life!”

The words keep ringing in my ear. So much so, that I’m driven enough to wear you when I go out for long drives on my own. And on aeroplanes. You know, where an accident is more likely to happen…

But we’re still not able to make it work.

“What about a necklace?” You ask.

“What about something fancier?” The catalogue, filled with your dressed up children and cousins teases.

To be fair, jewellery annoys me too. And I hate having my pockets weighted down with anything that isn’t necessary.

But I am trying. I really am.

After committing to a watch in 2016, I felt motivated enough to replace your expanda band with a curb chain. It was a mild improvement. But not enough to actually wear you.

After leaving you in plain sight on my chest of drawers for months, I’ve finally decided that a New Year is as good an opportunity as any to make more of an effort to wear you in 2017.

I’m trying to see the good in you.

Won’t you be kind to me?

The What-ifs of the Festive Season

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It’s that time of the year. Food, festivities, end of year exhaustion, and the promise of a fresh start come January 1. Add to that a nasty throat infection that I’m only just getting over, and the unpredictable glucose levels that have come with it.

This is a time of year where I have traditionally cruised along with my diabetes management, pushing all of my “priorities” back to January 1. It’s during this time, as I’m cruising along, that the diabetes what-ifs begin to cross my mind.

What if I had eaten less junk this year?

What if I had been motivated to count my carbs, and weigh my food more often?

What if I had been able to keep my blood sugar levels stable through the night more often?

What if I was able to log my readings and doses and look for trends more often?

What if I’m never able to get this right?

These feelings of guilt cross my mind moreso during the festive season, when I’m likely to be found ho-ing into plates of leftover desert in the days after Christmas and reflecting on the year gone.

This year, I do feel massively lighter. I still feel exhausted, but it’s more of a normal person exhaustion than diabetes exhaustion. It’s weirdly refreshing. It’s been a good year for my diabetes. I have made some impressive strides in my management. I’m in a place that I thought was impossible this time last year.

No, things are not perfect. There are still highs. There are still lows. And I’d be lying if I said that there aren’t still some what-ifs crossing my mind this year. I think we all feel that there is always more that we could do for our diabetes.

So, I’m challenging myself not to think about the what-ifs over the next couple of weeks. I’m really just looking forward to putting my feet up this festive season, and appreciating all of the things I have been able to accomplish in 2016. Diabetes, and otherwise.

I’ll likely be dialling up big doses of insulin, and using temporary basal rates on my insulin pump to help me cruise through the Christmas eating a little easier. I’ll be monitoring my blood sugar a little more often, but the focus will be more on enjoying myself than the numbers themselves.

If you’d like to spare a thought for those who don’t have the luxury of insulin this Christmas, consider making a donation to T1International or Spare a Rose. Both organisations advocate for, and provide insulin to people with diabetes in need all over the world.

While many Offices and workplaces have the luxury of a break over Christmas and New Years, spare a thought for those in industries such as hospitality, retail and health care who sacrifice time with their loved ones to serve us during the festive season.

Finally, dear readers. Merry Christmas. Thanks for reading Type 1 Writes this year. Wishing you a very happy, and safe festive season. See you in 2017!

– Frank