Author: Frank

Access to Supplies Isn’t a Question, It’s a Right

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My Blood Glucose Meter is one of the most important things in my life. Its one of the first things that I see on my bedside table when I wake up in the morning. I’ll zip it up securely in its little black case and tuck it safely in my satchel, where it will accompany me on my daily commute. I’ll open my satchel again before I start the car, just to make sure that its there. When I get to work, I’ll place it carefully on the shelf in my locker. It patiently sits there for much of the day, ready to be at my service as much or as little as I need it. Before morning tea. Before lunch. As a post-lunchtime reassurance. If I start to sweat or shake uncontrollably. At the end of the day, I’ll tuck it safely back into my satchel, before it finds its familiar place back on my bedside table at home.

When I’m dealing with a disease that is unpredictable and ever-changing, numbers are always on my mind. They plague me throughout the day. They plague me when eat. They even plague me when I stir in the middle of the night. I’m constantly questioning myself. Thinking to myself. Doubting myself. ‘I wonder what my blood sugar level is right now? Did I give myself enough insulin at lunchtime? How much will I drop in the next hour? Am I feeling hypo? No, it must just be this afternoon’s task that’s exhausting me. Wait, maybe I am hypo? No, no way. Well, maybe…’

Last week alone I had 58 moments of uncertainty. Last fortnight there were 125. And in the last month there were 257 of them. And I have this one little device that has the power to sweep my mind clean of all the thought processes scattered there. To dismiss all of my concerns and rid me of my fears. To keep me grounded. To keep me sane. One little prick produces a number and I’m empowered again. I feel secure. I’m back in control. I know how to react.

I consider myself pretty lucky here in Oz to have unlimited access to blood glucose meter test strips, needles and other non-medication products that I use on a daily basis to manage my diabetes. Since registering with the National Diabetes Services Scheme (NDSS) upon diagnosis, I have been able to get my diabetes stuff at a heavily subsidised cost, without a doctor’s prescription, whenever I like. As little or as much as I feel I need it in order to manage my condition.

So, I’m pretty devastated to hear that some Aussies with type 2 diabetes are about to have that freedom taken away from them. If their diabetes is not treated with insulin, it will be up to their doctor to decide whether they will benefit from blood glucose monitoring after an initial 6 month supply of test strips.

Yes, a type 2 would not use blood glucose monitoring as much as a type 1. But I’ve no doubt that they would go through those exact same feelings and thought processes. I’ve no doubt that at some point during the day, the week or the month, a type 2 would need to rely on the security of a blood glucose test. If they’ve eaten something different at dinner. If they’ve done more exercise than normal. If they’re not feeling well. Diabetes causes A LOT of uncertainty.

Its like being handed a box of test strips and being told “you have 6 months to get your diabetes under control.” And then in 6 months your blood glucose meter is taken away and you’re told “you now have to keep your blood sugar levels between 4 and 8 all the time.”

Diabetes is not something that we can always “get” under control in 6 months, let alone maintain all the time. Our lifestyles are ever changing – work, travel, diet, families, physical activity – all of which have significant impacts on our diabetes. Doctors aren’t by our side 24 hours a day to see, let alone understand, what we’re going through. The only person who knows you best, is you.

We are blessed to have all of these fantastic tools available today to help us manage our diabetes. For many, a blood glucose meter gives us a sense of security and control. It should never be a question of who gets them. I only wish the people making these decisions would understand.

Source: The inspiration for this story came from Renza at the Diabetogenic blog. There are more details about this decision process over on her blog.

Diabetes and Me

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Happy Diabetes Week to all of my d-friends in the UK! This year’s theme is “Diabetes and Me,” and asks us to think about how we manage our condition and live life to the full.

The one single thing that helps me to live life to the full every day is attitude. While diabetes has caused A LOT of frustration over the years, I don’t think I’ve ever spent my time wishing diabetes away. As angry as I might be, I’ve never cursed or blamed that setback on diabetes. I don’t walk around with a chip on my shoulder or attaching any stigma to myself. Diabetes is a reality that’s not going away anytime soon. Its something I’ve accepted.

I suppose I credit this to being hospitalised upon diagnosis (click here to read my diagnosis story). I had all sorts of horrible symptoms – lethargy, weight loss, urination, loss of saliva, excessive thirst, loss of appetite and panting. I honestly thought I might die. So, by the time I was diagnosed with diabetes in hospital I didn’t really care that much. I was just so relieved that all those symptoms had gone away. I had saliva and I could eat again!

In fact, most days I never really think of myself as a person who has diabetes. When I’m testing myself or injecting insulin, I never think too much about what I’m doing or why I have to do it. Its sort of become something that I subconsciously have to do and deal with.

Diabetes is one of the craziest, ever changing, emotional rollercoaster of experiences in my life. Its something that I fit into my life, and not the other way around.

I’ve graduated from uni.

I’ve cut down Christmas trees.

I’ve celebrated birthdays and enjoyed more than my fair share of cake.

And then there’s times where I’m still a child at heart (worth it!).

And when I remind myself that I have experienced all of these things with type 1 diabetes, it makes the victory even sweeter.

Diabetes Week UK runs from June 14 to June 20, 2015. Find out more about the event on the Diabetes UK website, and get involved by using the hashtag #DiabetesAndMe on social media.

A Day’s Worth of (Healthy) Drinking

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I’ve developed some pretty healthy drinking habits since I was diagnosed with diabetes 5 years ago. AND I’ve maintained them. Carb loaded drinks rarely tempt me in the same way that food does. And my favourite thing about healthy fluids is that they help me to bridge the gap inbetween meals when I am tempted to snack.

My day has to start with a coffee. I’ve become a bit of a coffee snob since purchasing a coffee capsule machine a few months ago, and this is now the only coffee I will drink. A single shot of espresso topped with around 200ml of Reduced Fat Milk and 1 equal sweetener tablet.

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Most days I stick to one coffee, although on Fridays I am frequently found guilty of buying a large cappuccino with 2 sugars. It also doesn’t help that the coffee shop outside work is currently doing happy hour free coffee from 2 to 3pm this month!

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I used to drink Cordial before I was diagnosed with diabetes, mainly because I didn’t really like the plain taste of water. However, now I only drink water with my meals. The purpose of a drink at the dinner table is to wash down my food, rather than for the taste. And I usually go through 2-3 glasses at dinner, which adds up to a lot if its got carbs in it too. I figure that if I’m going to have a flavoured drink, I’ll do it at a time where I’ll be able to enjoy it. I also have a water bottle on me throughout the day to keep me hydrated, although I find I am drinking less now that its Winter.

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I usually drink tea throughout the day, particularly as a distraction when I’m feeling peckish. Which is pretty ironic, considering I used to make fun of Mum and Dad for always having cuppas. It went something like “How can you feel like having a scathing hot cuppa when you first wake up?” And now I’ve become the biggest cuppa person. I drink Lipton black tea or Twinings English Breakfast, with 1 equal tablet and some milk.

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For the occasional afternoon treat it’s usually a can of Coke Zero. I wasn’t a huge soft drink person before diabetes. But funnily enough, Coke was one of the first things I demanded after I was diagnosed with diabetes in hospital. At most I might have it once a week, maybe more often during the Summer and when I eat out. The best thing about Coke Zero is that I can drink the whole can and not feel guilty about all the sugar. And, I’ve converted the family over to the dark side too! I can hardly notice any difference with regular Coke, although many (non-diabetic) people disagree, telling me they need the full sugar hit. And yes, I’ve heard all the horror stories about Coke. Believe me, in moderation you’ll be fine.

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And finally, alcohol. I hardly drink any alcohol compared to other people my age. Probably just a glass of wine or shot of liquor on special occasions. My drink of choice would be a glass of white wine with dinner and a shot of Baileys Irish Cream with dessert. I only wish my doctors would believe me.

Doctor: “Do you drink alcohol?”

Me: “No, very rarely.”

Doctor: “I can ask your Mum to step outside and you can tell me the truth.”

Me: “Really, that’s the truth.”

Doctor: “I’ll just put down a glass of wine with dinner.”

I know its hard to believe, but this is really all that I drink on most days. Now if only I could be this good with my food…

Diabetes and Vices

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Last Thursday morning, I finally willed myself to set the alarm for 4am and join in the Great Britain Diabetes Online Community Twitter Chat (#gbDOC). And I gotta say I wasn’t disappointed.

The topic was diabetes and vices. When I think of a vice, I instantly think of a bad habit. Something I use as an outlet to let off steam. Something that’s hard to break away from. Something that’s not good for me. So what is my main vice? Emotionally fuelled comfort eating. On a day where my diabetes management isn’t going well, my emotions take over my rational thinking. And I’ll eat. And eat. And eat.

The thing that fascinated me most was just how many other people’s vices were also food related. So why do I turn to food as my main vice? I think its a simple case of not being able to have those treats all the time with diabetes. It makes you want them more. Its like saying to a child ‘you can’t play with that toy.‘ They’ll end up wanting it more. They’ll chuck a tantrum. They’ll tell you they hate you. And they might even plan a rebellion to take it from you when you’re not watching. So bad blood sugar levels will give me the perfect excuse to turn towards those treats. Chocolate, potato chips, ice cream, lollies and biscuits. I’ll think to myself, ‘I’m trying so hard not to eat those foods and I’m still high – so what’s the point?’

Someone suggested that we weren’t being open enough about our non-food related vices. Well, that was an easy answer for me. Short answer: anger, shouting, slamming and punching. Long answer: read my post last week on Three Stages of Dealing With Hypo Grief (and trust me, its a good read!).

I think that if I didn’t have diabetes, my vices would be completely different (and perhaps not so food-related!) They might be things like drinking. Smoking. Gossiping. Swearing (well, I still do that sometimes…) But diabetes is such a big part of my life. I deal with it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year. I think about it when I wake up. When I’m at work. When I’m eating. When I’m sitting in front of the telly. Even when I stir in the middle of the night. So, naturally, I have vices against my diabetes rather than other aspects of my life.

And, if my blood sugar levels were perfect 100 per cent of the time, I don’t think I would have any vices at all!

Join the Great Britain Diabetes Online Community Twitter Chat every Wednesday night at 9pm (GMT+1) by following the #gbDOC hashtag on Twitter.

Things I Secretly Love About Diabetes

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So, what do I love about diabetes that I don’t like to admit?

Getting extra attention from the people around me. Although I don’t really show it, I’m a little bit of an attention seeker at heart. I secretly love being asked if I’m okay. All I really have to do is pause for a rest and within seconds I’ll get “Frankie, are you okay? Go sit down for 5 minutes. Have a drink. If you don’t feel well, go home.” Dad will constantly remind me to take a tablet, have a hot drink and go lie down for a while (until I actually go and do all of those things), and Mum will have a panic attack if I tell her I don’t feel like eating anything. “You have to eat something!”

Giving off the impression that I’m a super healthy person. Whenever the topic of food comes up in the staff room at work, I’m the expert. I can justify my healthy lunches to others. I know how many carbs there are in those donuts for morning tea. I can make him feel guilty about how much sugar there is in that can of coke he got out of the vending machine. I can make her feel guilty about salting her lunch. But then again, I’m pretty much shooting myself in the foot on the days where I’m caught eating a Caramello Koala or walking in with a bag of Red Rooster for lunch!

Greater admiration from others. And sounding like an interesting person, I guess. One of the most common conversations I have with people is explaining what I have to do when I eat. It goes something like “So, I have to prick my finger to make sure my blood sugar is between 4 and 8. If its too low, I have to eat jellybeans. If its too high, I have to give extra insulin. Then I have to give insulin whenever I eat carbs, depending on how many carbs I eat. And by the time I’ve finished my rant and finally look around me, the whole room is listening.

And accomplishments. They somehow just sound ten times better when you tack the word diabetes onto them. I’ve completed High School. I’ve survived Year 12 exams. I’ve gotten a job. I’ve graduated from uni. I’ve travelled. I’ve scaled the Sydney Harbour Bridge. And whenever I do make an accomplishment, whether it be d-related or not, it feels ten times better when I remember that I accomplished those things while dealing with type 1 diabetes as well.