“It’s one of the best recipes,” he replied enthusiastically. “It’s mostly sugar. Nothing healthy in there.”
“That’s not really good for diabetes!” She remarked, turning towards me and laughing.
“That’s not funny,” I replied.
I’d so been looking forward to this morning tea. I was in the kitchen at 9.00 the night before, making the shortbread that I’d been wanting to make for weeks but hadn’t got the chance to.
Yet that one, ill timed and misinformed comment put a damper on something that I had so been looking forward to. I’m not embarrassed by my diabetes, but it embarrassed me. It reminded me of just how ‘different’ I was.
I was angry at the stigma that had just been perpetuated throughout the room from the attention drawn in from that comment. I’m not saying that as a person with type 1 diabetes, I’m saying that as a person with diabetes.
I know that my reply didn’t suffice. It didn’t make me feel better. It didn’t do anything in the way of correcting the stigma, but it’s the best I could come up with on the spot.
I spent the next hour or so reflecting on how I’d have better responded to that comment if I had my time back. Resisting the urge to approach this person and tell her not to make jokes about diabetes, because she was my friend (and she also puts up with a lot of my grumbling throughout the day…)
As I stood in the kitchen later, eating a banana and feeling rotten after the umpteenth hypo this week (which is a totally different story), I felt well and truly deflated.
I’ve been using the Dexcom G5 CGM for around four months now, and I thought it might be a good opportunity to revisit some of my thoughts on the system now that it’s very much a part of my diabetes kit.
Application: Contrary to popular opinion, I actually like manually inserting the needle via the plunger. Insertion devices tend to bruise my body more easily and don’t leave me feeling confident that the insertion has been a success. The yet to be released G6 iteration will have an insertion device, and I’m not too sure that’s a big selling point for me.
Placement: Like many in the DOC, I love wearing my sensor on my upper arm. It’s out of the way, I can’t see it when I look down at my body and it gives me more real estate for placement of pump sites.
I have personally found the most effective placement to be with the plunger pointing upwards in the direction of my shoulder. I placed one in the opposite direction some weeks ago, and my sensor didn’t last much longer than a week there.
Adhesive: The sensors stick really well on the arms. I can normally go for two weeks before having to apply a bit of reinforcement, such as a Rockadex patch. Although, I don’t do a lot of dedicated exercise or work up a sweat very often…
Sensor life: I’m currently getting three weeks out of a sensor. The first two weeks yield solid results. However, the third week is often a struggle. The readings can get a bit jumpy, movements accentuated, and often those three question marks pop up and I temporarily lose access to blood glucose data.
Last week, my sensor was into week three and I was beginning to experience some really unreliable behaviour. I decided to restart it, clearing the system of any calibrations that may have been sub-optimal. I also drank a few glasses of water, and that has given me my strongest finish to a sensor so far.
Calibration: I prefer to calibrate with clean hands. But I also can’t be bothered washing my hands before I check my blood sugar. Especially first thing in the morning, when the coffee machine is calling me. Which leads to me putting off calibrating. Or checking my blood sugar, second guessing the result because I didn’t wash my hands before checking, and then washing my hands and checking again. For the record, my trusty AccuChek Guide produces almost identical results each time.
I stick to twice a day, ideally when I wake up and just before dinner. But otherwise generally before a meal when my blood sugar is steady and there’s not a lot of bolus insulin on board.
Integration with my t:slim pump: It took me a while until I finally wanted blood sugars on my pump screen. In the beginning when I was still getting used to the system, it was just too much. I also seemed to integrate them at the worst of times, like in week 3 when my sensor was beginning to crap out or a few days before my exam. The only way to take them off is to shut down the pump and then power it back on.
One thing I do not like is having my phone on me all the time for access to my BGs or just to silence an alarm. I only started running BGs on my t:slim for good just before Christmas, and so far I’m loving it for the ability to be phone free.
Affordability: I’m using a rebatteried transmitter obtained through the Diabatteries Down Under community on Facebook. This is not warranted by the manufacturer and is essentially a ‘DIY’ solution that works just as well. This means that the ongoing cost of my system is essentially just the sensors.
In conclusion: Anything that lets me do less while managing my diabetes is a good thing. Having blood glucose readings at the glance of my phone has definitely improved the quality of my life. I do find it far easier to pick up on trends and changes that I need to make than I ever did on finger pricks. I feel as though I have a clearer picture of exactly where my diabetes is at.
I acknowledge just how privileged I am in being able to access this system.
At this point in time, the G5 is meeting my needs perfectly as I continue to manage my diabetes, and I really don’t want anything more from it.
That was largely thanks to overcorrecting before bed, then waking up to a low alarm and eating two glucose tabs, and then suspending my pump on the second low alarm a bit later because I really didn’t want to eat any more glucose tabs.
Not to mention that I only suspended for 30 minutes, telling myself that I’d do a wait-and-see, except that I was well and truly asleep again by the time that 30 minutes was up.
The 4am diabetes brain wants what it wants…
When I looked at my CGM graph the following morning, I must have spent several hours hovering in the 3s.
I spent the remainder of my New Year’s Day paying for it. My brain was foggy, my body felt heavier than usual and my muscles were sore. All thanks to my body being deprived of it’s much needed glucose reserves throughout the night.
Which brings me to my New Year’s resolution.
I really, really, really want to focus on sleeping better this year.
It’s not like I have any trouble sleeping. Or that I’m not getting enough. But when I think about those days where I wake up relatively easily, alert and feeling truly refreshed – it’s hard to think about when the last one was.
When I think about how I feel about living with diabetes of late, I’m really happy with all of the gradual changes I’ve made in my life to support it. I’m really happy with what I’m doing to manage it, and where I’m at.
Yet my sleep would have to be the thing that’s been weighing me down the most. It impairs me physically, it impairs my mood and it impairs on my productivity. It doesn’t make me feel as though I’m managing my diabetes very well at all.
So, there’s one more gradual change that I hope to implement this year.
I’m really making a concentrated effort to switch off in that last hour before I go to bed, reminding myself that whatever I’m doing will still be there to resume tomorrow.
I’ve started turning down the lights at 9pm and closing the blinds. Switching off the WiFi on my devices. Lightly reading, writing or watching the news. I guess you could say that it’s an hour of ‘me time.’
I’ve started using the Sleep Cycle app once again, which tracks my sleep and wakes me up at a time where I’m sleeping lightest.
It’s still really early, but going to bed without a brain that’s still on and buzzing really is making a huge difference when I wake up in the morning.
I’m hoping that this is the difference that will get me off into the New Year on the right foot.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since I summoned the courage to hit ‘publish’ on my first blog post five years ago. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing at the time, or what kind of purpose this blog would serve. In total honesty, I never thought this would last longer than a week or two.
Yet here I am today, five life changing years later and a great deal wiser.
Writing about diabetes is a lot easier than I once thought. When diabetes is a part of your life 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year, there’s no shortage of material to share here. It’s pretty easy to flesh out the tiniest thing. Like that low blood sugar that hit me this afternoon, or the stray test strip that I found on the floor of my hotel room.
Writing about diabetes has also been hard. Moreso than ever during the past year. Life, and taking care of myself definitely comes first and I’ll never apologise for that. But I’d be lying if I said that I don’t have this ever growing feeling of looking behind my back, waiting for someone to get angry at something I’ve shared here. Wondering if what I’ve written is even worth sharing.
I don’t have to be doing exactly what everyone else is doing. I’m still here, blogging, and doing it somewhat old-school, because this is the platform that is…me. Diabetes bloggers have largely migrated to Instagram these days, but at this point in time that’s just not me. Posting my landscapes and Cannoli feels far more natural than posing with my Dexcom, pump or pen.
I don’t have to be here, or anywhere else within the DOC, all the time. It’s easy to feel somewhat obligated to post and participate when there are so many corners within the DOC that are active 24 hours a day. Taking care of myself comes first and foremost. I’ve actually just spent 95% of the post Christmas period logged out of social media. With the exception of Twitter for news on the bushfires here in Australia. I always want my interactions to be fun and not forced. I always want to participate only in those spaces that I feel most comfortable in.
Peer support is truly life changing. I acknowledge just how much privilege I have had in being able to build such a great tribe of people with diabetes around me. I still think about where I would be in my life with diabetes today if I had not found such amazing peer support from the DOC and broader diabetes community. I don’t think I want to know the answer to that question.
Unfortunately I am out of the office on a Christmas break. I can probably be found looking at Christmas lights, playing board games with my family, helping out with Christmas lunch, eating, drinking, getting my festive binge watching on or browsing ebay for some bargains on my own Christmas wish list.
I’m trying not to think about work at all. I will not be tending to any hypos, high blood sugars, bolus calculations, blood sugar checks, infusion set changes, cartridge refills, sensor replacements, meal preparation or physical activity during this time. But I wouldn’t say no to a nice unicorn.
If your matter is urgent, please don’t contact me. Unfortunately my entire team of one will be unavailable over the festive season, as I’ve decided to give them a well earned break for all of their hard work this year. You may appreciate that this team of one works right around the clock, 24/7, 365 days of the year for free to provide you with the very best level of care.
Please bear with me. Your patience is greatly appreciated during this time.
I will get back to you upon my return to the office at a time of my choosing after Christmas.
Last but not least, I would like wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Thanks for following my adventures this year. You, the diabetes community, mean the world to me and I couldn’t have done this year without you.
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