Diabetes

Diabetes and Vices

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Last Thursday morning, I finally willed myself to set the alarm for 4am and join in the Great Britain Diabetes Online Community Twitter Chat (#gbDOC). And I gotta say I wasn’t disappointed.

The topic was diabetes and vices. When I think of a vice, I instantly think of a bad habit. Something I use as an outlet to let off steam. Something that’s hard to break away from. Something that’s not good for me. So what is my main vice? Emotionally fuelled comfort eating. On a day where my diabetes management isn’t going well, my emotions take over my rational thinking. And I’ll eat. And eat. And eat.

The thing that fascinated me most was just how many other people’s vices were also food related. So why do I turn to food as my main vice? I think its a simple case of not being able to have those treats all the time with diabetes. It makes you want them more. Its like saying to a child ‘you can’t play with that toy.‘ They’ll end up wanting it more. They’ll chuck a tantrum. They’ll tell you they hate you. And they might even plan a rebellion to take it from you when you’re not watching. So bad blood sugar levels will give me the perfect excuse to turn towards those treats. Chocolate, potato chips, ice cream, lollies and biscuits. I’ll think to myself, ‘I’m trying so hard not to eat those foods and I’m still high – so what’s the point?’

Someone suggested that we weren’t being open enough about our non-food related vices. Well, that was an easy answer for me. Short answer: anger, shouting, slamming and punching. Long answer: read my post last week on Three Stages of Dealing With Hypo Grief (and trust me, its a good read!).

I think that if I didn’t have diabetes, my vices would be completely different (and perhaps not so food-related!) They might be things like drinking. Smoking. Gossiping. Swearing (well, I still do that sometimes…) But diabetes is such a big part of my life. I deal with it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year. I think about it when I wake up. When I’m at work. When I’m eating. When I’m sitting in front of the telly. Even when I stir in the middle of the night. So, naturally, I have vices against my diabetes rather than other aspects of my life.

And, if my blood sugar levels were perfect 100 per cent of the time, I don’t think I would have any vices at all!

Join the Great Britain Diabetes Online Community Twitter Chat every Wednesday night at 9pm (GMT+1) by following the #gbDOC hashtag on Twitter.

Things I Secretly Love About Diabetes

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So, what do I love about diabetes that I don’t like to admit?

Getting extra attention from the people around me. Although I don’t really show it, I’m a little bit of an attention seeker at heart. I secretly love being asked if I’m okay. All I really have to do is pause for a rest and within seconds I’ll get “Frankie, are you okay? Go sit down for 5 minutes. Have a drink. If you don’t feel well, go home.” Dad will constantly remind me to take a tablet, have a hot drink and go lie down for a while (until I actually go and do all of those things), and Mum will have a panic attack if I tell her I don’t feel like eating anything. “You have to eat something!”

Giving off the impression that I’m a super healthy person. Whenever the topic of food comes up in the staff room at work, I’m the expert. I can justify my healthy lunches to others. I know how many carbs there are in those donuts for morning tea. I can make him feel guilty about how much sugar there is in that can of coke he got out of the vending machine. I can make her feel guilty about salting her lunch. But then again, I’m pretty much shooting myself in the foot on the days where I’m caught eating a Caramello Koala or walking in with a bag of Red Rooster for lunch!

Greater admiration from others. And sounding like an interesting person, I guess. One of the most common conversations I have with people is explaining what I have to do when I eat. It goes something like “So, I have to prick my finger to make sure my blood sugar is between 4 and 8. If its too low, I have to eat jellybeans. If its too high, I have to give extra insulin. Then I have to give insulin whenever I eat carbs, depending on how many carbs I eat. And by the time I’ve finished my rant and finally look around me, the whole room is listening.

And accomplishments. They somehow just sound ten times better when you tack the word diabetes onto them. I’ve completed High School. I’ve survived Year 12 exams. I’ve gotten a job. I’ve graduated from uni. I’ve travelled. I’ve scaled the Sydney Harbour Bridge. And whenever I do make an accomplishment, whether it be d-related or not, it feels ten times better when I remember that I accomplished those things while dealing with type 1 diabetes as well.

Down Time

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I woke up at a quarter to eleven on Saturday morning. It had to have been one of my all time records. I never sleep in that late. I aboslutely hate the idea of wasting half the day sleeping. And to top it all off, my blood sugar level was a beautiful 18.9 (insert swear word). Waking up at that level is one of the worst things that I experience with diabetes. Being that high for the 10 hours I’d been sleeping is a horrible thought. The guilt of the potential damage I am doing to my body. The frustration of not having forced myself up during the night to check.

All in all, it was a pretty lousy start to the day. But it was hardly unexpected. It had been a busy and eventful couple of days. There were a couple of mornings where I started work earlier than normal. And of course, I didn’t make the time to get to bed any earlier like I should have.

Battling end of the week exhaustion, we also celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Friday. This, of course, meant a lot of bolus worthy treats to indulge in. Not to mention the delicious dinner that went before it. I can remember Mum handing me my slice of cake, asking if it was too big. It was too big. But, not wanting to draw attention or pity to myself in front of guests, I insisted it was fine. I really should have said something.

So, back to Saturday. I felt groggy. Lousy. Guilt ridden. I did something I never do. Its the one thing that I probably haven’t done since just before I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went back to bed in the middle of the day. Last time I did this I was on the verge of being diagnosed with diabetes. I had lost my appetite, my energy and willingness to go about my day. Today, I wasn’t unwell. I just needed to recharge.

Gotta say, it was just so nice to pull the blankets up, stretch my legs out and rest my head on the soft pillow as my blood sugar levels came down. I had The Goldbergs playing on my laptop and a cup of tea by my side as the afternoon light was streaming in through the window.

Turns out some down time was was just what I needed. I got up a few hours later feeling completely refreshed. My blood sugar had come down to a perfect 6.6. And I was ready to start all over again.

Recipe: Chunky Steak Pies

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Today’s post is inspired by the Foods on Friday prompt during Diabetes Blog Week. It was one of my favourite topics to read and write about, and yet I’m disappointed that I haven’t included more food posts on this blog. Food is actually quite a big part of my life and my diabetes management, and I do cook often at home.

With Monday being a Public Holiday, I volunteered to cook lunch at home. It was a pretty quick decision, which is very unusual for the indecisive person that I am. But I felt like having pies, so that’s what I decided to make.

I made these using Pie moulds, and to be honest that part of the recipe is damn time consuming. If you want to save yourself a lot of time, you could probably just line a baking dish with Shortcrust Pastry and pour the filling into there.

The filling has a beautiful sweetness from the tomatoes, savouriness from the steak and bacon and a nice thickness thanks to the flour – it was just perfect if I may say so myself. It does have a rich flavour, so I don’t recommend going overboard on the Salt.

This recipe makes 15 individual pies, which will probably give you enough for leftovers (and hopefully a break from cooking) the next day.

The pastry does contribute a significant proportion of carbohydrates and fat towards the pie, so I would recommend sticking to a serving of one with a side of salad or vegetables. There’s also a good source of protein and iron from the meat, for sustained energy.

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Ingredients:

  • 1 can diced or crushed tomatoes (approx. 400g)
  • 2 rashers bacon, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp plain flour
  • 1kg rump steak, diced
  • 2 cups water
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste
  • 1 tsp fresh Thyme leaves
  • 3 sheets Pampas 25% reduced fat frozen Shortcrust Pastry
  • 3 sheets Pampas 25% reduced fat frozen Puff Pastry
  • 15 pie moulds or a medium baking dish

Method:

  1. Heat oil in a medium saucepan over high heat and fry onion and bacon for 3 minutes or until softened.
  2. Add steak and cook for 5 minutes or until well browned.
  3. Add tomatoes, water, flour and thyme and bring to the boil.
  4. Reduce to a medium low heat and simmer for 30-60 minutes or until sauce thickens.
  5. Place Pastry sheets on the bench to thaw for 5-10 minutes.
  6. Preheat oven to 180ºC.
  7. Cut rounds from the Shortcrust Pastry to line the Pie moulds.
  8. Divide steak filling evenly between Pie moulds.
  9. Cut rounds from the Puff Pastry to cover the Pie moulds. Pierce the edges with a fork to seal.
  10. Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden.

Nutrition Information:

(estimate per pie)

  • Carbs: 36g
  • Fat: 10g
  • Glycemic Index Estimate: Medium

Three Stages of Dealing with Hypo Grief

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I’m ashamed to admit that hypos have gotten the better of me in recent weeks. My diabetes management certainly isn’t as terrible as this post makes it look, but I definitely think what I go through during these times is too funny not to share (because we have to look back and laugh at ourselves, right?). So, here’s what I like to call my Three Stages of Dealing with Hypo Grief.

Stage 1: Anger and Frustration

Going low is the most frustrating thing. And the more often it happens, the more you start to feel like you’re slipping into a hole. And the further down you get, the harder it is to find your footing and climb on out.

And during times like these, that frustration boils up to the point of anger. Like wanting to shout. Like wanting to slam the door. Like wanting to throw something against the wall. Like wanting to punch the wall as hard as I can. I want to feel the pain, so I have something physical to match my anger. I have a million different emotions boiled up inside of me that I need to let out.

Stage 2: Emotional Eating

So, the wave has finally crashed. I’ve let all of my hypo related frustrations and anger out of my system. My mind is finally ready to start processing what’s happened, and its also time to start thinking about fixing that hypo.

A hypo that I’m not expecting will really tug hard on my emotional heartstrings. Especially after a day where I felt I did my very best. I ate healthy. I thought very carefully about my insulin dose. I didn’t take a second helping at lunch. I didn’t have a snack in the afternoon. I tried so hard and yet I still failed. So what’s the point? Screw it. I reach for the most delicious thing I can find to cure my hypo. Like a bag of chips. A tub of ice cream. A box of chocolate. And I’ll sit on the couch and eat my hypo sorrow away. And no, not just the 20 grams to bring me back up into range. No, today I’m going to finish off the entire packet. Just because.

Stage 3: Acceptance and readiness to move on

So, I’ve gotten angry, and my emotions have taken over my rational thinking and I’m finally ready to move on. I’m ready to accept that sometimes diabetes is plain unpredictable. Sometimes we approach diabetes with the best of intentions. And yet we still don’t get the results we expect. Sometimes these things are just out of our control. And its our job to accept this, pick up the pieces and move on.