Diabetes

The Other Half of Diabetes

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Today is day 2 of Diabetes Blog Week, an annual event in the diabetes community created by Karen at BitterSweet Diabetes. Here is today’s prompt:

We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? (If you are a caregiver to a person with diabetes, write about yourself or your loved one or both!)

Being diagnosed with diabetes as a young adult has presented it’s own unique challenges. I had already lived a significant portion of my life without it, which I am extremely grateful for. However, everyone around me knew me without diabetes. It wasn’t just automatically there, which made acknowledging my diabetes publicly a very difficult task. It essentially entailed a new conversation and fielding a whole lot of questions. It’s a risk, and sadly some people react insensitively. Even today, many people still don’t know, or remember that I live with diabetes.

I was diagnosed at an age where I wanted to manage my diabetes myself. I didn’t want to burden others around me with my diabetes. I was, and still am extremely stubborn. The more time that passed, the more I closed myself off. I didn’t talk about diabetes. I struggled to even acknowledge what was going on in my head. I distinctly recall moments where I was struggling with the frequency of my hypos. I was slamming my fists into the wall, and then getting emotional and comfort eating my way well out of hypo territory behind a closed door.

I was very self conscious around my diabetes. I wanted to be seen as normally as possible. I didn’t want to be seen as the sick, “diabetic” kid. I didn’t want people to see me managing my diabetes and pity me. There were times where I didn’t want to test my blood sugar levels in front of others. I’m still very self conscious about injecting insulin in front of others.

Beginning this blog 18 months ago was a big step out of my diabetes comfort zone. I quietly began following other people with diabetes online. I nervously stuck my head into OzDOC chats. I began sharing more about my diabetes than I ever acknowledged in my own life.

Much to my surprise, I began genuinely connecting with other people online. I became extremely interested in diabetes. I became far more motivated around my own management, and standing up for what I want from my healthcare team. I entered the pumping world yesterday, as a result of a decision that I made happen myself. I had the privilege of travelling to Sydney last week, and making some online to in real life connections.

Today, I am still fiercely independent in managing my diabetes. The specifics around my diabetes is still a very personal topic. I don’t often talk about what’s going on with my numbers, my food, and other individual elements of my day to day management. I set the agenda, and my family respects that.

I am, however, more motivated to talk about my diabetes in a broader context. About what I expect from my healthcare team. Elements of my management that I’m hoping to make changes to, or do better. Talking about how diabetes makes me feel. Commenting on the news, and the politics around diabetes. My blog posts are often the subject of dinner table conversations, too!

Today, I am not so afraid of talking about my diabetes in front of others. I comfortably bring it up when it adds value to a conversation. I feel much more confident in the way that I express myself around my diabetes, that I no longer feel so conscious or so pitied. I feel that I am so much more of a “switched on” patient, and in a much better place with both my physical and emotional health.


I would say take a step out of your comfort zone. Take an interest in diabetes. Connect with others. You don’t have to do it all at once. Set some boundaries you are comfortable with.

I feel that the progress I have made with my diabetes over these past 18 months has been so worth it.

To read other posts related to today’s prompt, click here.

Thursday Night, Diabetes Style

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When I last visited my diabetes educator in February, I brought my meter along in order to show her my numbers. I was stepping outside of my comfort zone. I was essentially exposing myself, and all of my highs and my lows. I wouldn’t be able to choose what I would share with her. I wouldn’t be able to summarise. It was a big step for me, but one that I felt ready to do.

Unfortunately, the focus seemed to be more on what I hadn’t done – logging my insulin doses into the meter. I apologised, and promised that I would send through two weeks worth of meter reports before my pump day, so that she would be able to work out insulin ratios and settings.

It was a simple task, yet one that has been weighing heavily on my mind for weeks.

Every time I have attempted to make a start, something gets in the way. In March, I got sick and was rage bolussing stubborn highs like crazy. A week later, Easter rolled around and I was eating more than I should have. I took some holidays, and the numbers didn’t reflect my regular routine. But most of the time, I’ve just been telling myself that the numbers aren’t perfect enough to send through.

I can probably guess what a healthcare professional might think. Lazy, slack, non-compliant (insert your favourite word here). But when diabetes already takes up so much of my time and energy, a simple task like stopping to log my insulin doses is a big deal. It’s hard to carry the same meter around with me, rather than rely on the others that are stashed in convenient places. It’s hard to stop and punch in the insulin dose, when all I really want to do is sit down and eat.

But I knew that I was going to honour my promise. I knew that I wasn’t going to lie.

Come Thursday night, I generated 14 days worth of Insulinx meter data on my computer and printed it out. I took a seat at my desk for what would be somewhat of a long night.

I went backwards, day by day, reflecting on the past two weeks of my diabetes life. Recalling exactly where I was, and what I was doing on that particular day. Thinking about what I’d had for dinner that night. Remembering the circumstances surrounding that stupid low, that stubborn high, or that victorious overnight result. It took me a few hours. It was a little confronting, staring at those numbers on paper and being reminded of where I had gone wrong.

I attached a note to my meter reports, apologising to my diabetes educator for not directly logging the insulin doses into the meter. I explained that I had thoroughly gone through my last two weeks, and provided what I believe to be a very comprehensive overview. I wrote notes about my typical day. A work day, where I was on my feet, moving around and lifting things. Night times, where I was often chasing post bedtime highs from things like Pasta, Fat and Protein foods. Insulin to carb ratios, correction ratios and Lantus doses.

I carefully folded my paperwork, placed it into an envelope and stuck an express stamp onto it.

As I placed my letter into the Post Box on Friday afternoon, that big weight that had been sitting on my shoulders for weeks was finally gone.

Fear as a Motivator For Health?

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During a diabetes themed episode of Sunday Night this week, I noticed several tweets from Diabetes NSW that had been carefully planted into the #SN7 feed on Twitter (the program’s hashtag). Including this one, which sought to tell us that 7,750 people die from diabetes and related complications each year.

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It’s not the first time I’ve seen these kind of Tweets from Diabetes NSW as of late. During the diabetes community’s I Wish People Knew That Diabetes day last month, Diabetes NSW once again hijacked the feed to fill us in on some of the scary facts.

On both occasions, the Tweets appeared automated and displayed little understanding around the respective hashtags they were hijacking.

After seeing this tactic employed once again on Sunday evening, I couldn’t help but call them out.

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As a member based organisation that supposedly represents and supports people with diabetes, messages like these really do members a disservice. Do messages promoting complications and instilling fear around poorly managed diabetes really motivate individuals to look after their health? I think not. And judging by the reaction I received on Twitter, I am not the only person who feels this way.

While stories like these may be effective on people without diabetes, I feel that they sorely overlook those of us who already live with it. In my opinion, health consequences such as obesity, sugar consumption, physical activity or kidney failure are separate issues that need to be dealt with exclusively from diabetes.

The sad reality is that the wider media eat up the sensationalised stories around the complications and fear surrounding life with diabetes. People without any connection to diabetes make assumptions based on what they see reported. Perhaps that a person with diabetes is not fit to work. That a person with diabetes lives an unhealthy lifestyle. Or in the case of the aforementioned Tweet, that a person with diabetes could drop dead at any given moment!

Yet the positive stories, the ones around people with diabetes being able to live healthy and full lives are often overlooked, or overshadowed by the sensationalised stories. Diabetes NSW were quick to point me to a page of positive “ambassador” stories on their website, including another “Frank” who I reminded them of. Yet I am reminded of this recent post from Melinda at Twice Diabetes. I can’t help but wonder whether they are ambassadors who are truly engaged with the organisation and the community, or just figureheads that are referenced when necessary.

To be fair, Diabetes NSW is not the first organisation to instill these messages. We had the dreadful 280 a Day campaign for Diabetes Week last year in Australia, and more recently we had the very confusing World Health Day.

Shaping the conversation around diabetes in public begins with the organisations who represent us. I only wish we weren’t so hard done by all the time.

Six Mother’s Days Ago…

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On this day, exactly six Mother’s Days ago, I was making one hell of a racket in the kitchen. Mum walked into the kitchen in the early hours of the morning, to the sight of me making Orange Juice Granitas with the Snow Cone Machine. I had woken her up, and she was angry.

“The doctor told you to have hot drinks!” She yelled at me, referring to what we believed at the time to be a virus.

Little did I know that when I woke up in a few hours time, I would be taken to hospital. Little did I know that in a few short hours, I would be diagnosed with diabetes. A condition that would change my life forever, yet a condition that would shape the person I am today.

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When I think about six years of life with diabetes today, it’s hard to believe that it’s only been six years. In some ways, it feels like it’s been a lot longer than that. I can hardly remember what life was like without the finger pricks, the insulin injections, the 2am alarms and the corrections today.

Yet every time I recall this series of events, it feels like it happened only yesterday.

Nothing else in my life has ever demanded more time and attention. Not a day goes by that I don’t worry about whether I am doing enough to stay on top of my long term health. Despite my family’s best efforts to praise me, and to tell me that I shouldn’t feel this way, diabetes always weighs on my conscience. Nothing else in my life has ever made me feel so guilty.

At the same time, I do feel proud of myself. Everything I have accomplished in the last six years sounds amazing, simply for the fact that I have done it with diabetes. 

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I’m grateful that I can still live a relatively normal life. I can’t recall anything that I haven’t been able to do because of diabetes. I’m so lucky to live in a country where I have access to everything I need to stay healthy.

Not a year has gone by that I have not been reminded of my diaversary on the 9th of May. But I have never really celebrated it. And after a year and a half in the diabetes community, I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I should do to mark this day.

While my diabetes might have overshadowed Mothers Day all those years ago, today I realise I have two good reasons to celebrate.

Happy Mothers Day to the Mother who continues to make sure that I eat and that I wear my Medic Alert bracelet (with little success).

And cheers to six years of life with diabetes. Toasted yesterday with Lasagne, Wine, Cheesecake, Chocolates, Coffee, and hopefully some Cannoli later this week.

I can’t wait to see what year seven will bring.

Sidenote: Happy Diaversary to Bec at Sweet and Sour Diabetes. You beat me by four days!

Why Blog?

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My conversation with Rebecca Johnson at the Telethon Type 1 Diabetes Family Centre prompted some serious questions about my blog. Some of which I’ve never really thought about too seriously, and others that I’ve shared little tidbits about over time. Today, I’m popping it all into one post.

Why did I start to blog?

I love writing. My dream is to write for a living someday. I started this blog in January 2015 as a bit of a creative outlet to complement my studies in marketing and communications. I guess, even today, this blog remains a glimmer of hope that one day I might find work more closely aligned to where my passions lie. 

Diabetes seemed like a natural choice to write about. I didn’t even think there were many diabetes blogs out there, let alone an active community sharing their stories online. I know so much more about diabetes than I ever did before I started my blog. I am far more empowered and passionate about the condition that I live with, and I credit that to being a part of the diabetes community.

Is it hard to come up with ideas for blog posts?

It was definitely difficult to come up with ideas in the beginning, and get them onto paper cohesively. Today, the ideas come to me quite naturally. I’m really interested in what’s going on in the diabetes community. Diabetes follows me around in whatever I do, and something interesting always happens along the way. It’s amazing how the tiniest thing can become a blog post. Like, for example, finding a test strip on the hotel room floor. Other days I just want to empty out what’s on my mind, such as this post from last week. You get better at it over time.

Do I feel the pressure to constantly pump out content?

To be honest, I’ve surprised myself in being able to write so much here since I started. It’s more a thing of personal pride that motivates me to keep going. I’m really proud of my writing. I’m proud of my own personal development with my diabetes since I began this journey. I’m really proud of this space that I’ve created, and that people can come here to find a new post almost every day of the week. That was always the vision I had for my blog when I started it. 

How has Type 1 Writes evolved over time?

When I started Type 1 Writes, I imagined it would be more of a thing where I would give diabetes advice and lifestyle tips. I don’t think I realised the value of my own voice and my own story until a little later when I began to connect with others in the Diabetes Online Community.

A lot of my initial blog audience and DOC connections were from the United States, and I felt like I had to fit in with that. I don’t think I realised the value of my perspective as an Australian person with diabetes. I guess today, I’m proud to be an Australian diabetes blogger. I proudly publish my posts during the daytime here in Australia, even if that means that my friends in the US and UK are sitting down to dinner or heading to bed. I’m proud to be a part of the Oz Diabetes Online Community, even if it’s not as huge as DSMA or DCDE groups in the US.

What does the future hold for Type 1 Writes?

Hmmm…I hope I’ll be able to keep doing more of the same. Publishing great content, sharing my story with diabetes, being part of an inspiring community and hopefully reaching more people. I’d love to meet more DOC connections in real life, and attend diabetes conferences. If I could find a job or side income more closely aligned with my blog or my writing someday, that would be amazing too. 

One thing that won’t change, however, is that I will always continue to write what comes from the heart.