Emotional Health

Headspace.

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Diabetes is an extremely isolating condition to live with. Those around me might often see the click of a lancet, the prime of a needle or the hit of a button on my insulin pump. You know what? That’s about it. To the outside world, there’s not a lot more to living with diabetes.

People don’t see the wave of emotions that often accompany the numbers that show up on the meter. People don’t see the immense mathematics and thought processes that go into the hit of those buttons on the insulin pump. People don’t see the physical depletion that comes from managing diabetes 24 hours a day, while trying to live a full life that is sometimes challenging in itself.

I’d be lying if I said that diabetes hasn’t messed with my headspace on several occasions. I’ve had days where I’ve come home feeling absolutely depleted, overwhelmed and not in a great frame of mind. Times that have always signalled to me that I need some time out to reset.

Self care has become a pretty big part of keeping myself in a good headspace with diabetes. It’s often the smallest, simplest and most selfish of acts that have the greatest impact.

I often post images of mysterious landscapes to my Instagram, and there’s a good reason why. Getting outdoors and going for a walk in the afternoons works wonders on my mindset. Things like hearing the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, feeling the chilly air on my face, or marvelling at the evening sky and surrounds helps clear my head at the end of a long day.

Food is definitely another act of self care, that I’m really working extra hard at right now. I’ve been forcing myself out of bed half an hour earlier each morning so that I have the time to prepare myself a more substantial breakfast, rather than eating a slice of toast and then feeling utterly exhausted and unable to concentrate for the remainder of the morning.

I’d also be remiss not to mention peer support here as well. Diabetes has brought so many amazing people into my life, and it really does make me wonder how I used to manage without them. I get so much out of simply talking to other people like me, and knowing that I am not alone in what I’m dealing with.

While I can’t actually stop managing my diabetes, I can choose only to do the bare minimum while placing the remainder of it on the backburner. I can log out of all of my social media handles for a day or two, settle in on the couch and binge watch a favourite TV show, open a book or go to bed a little earlier than normal. That too, is all okay.

I absolutely hate the insincere ‘how are you’ that is often exchanged in passing, or over the phone with acquaintances. Along with the reply of ‘fine thanks’ that is expected in return, often not until these two passing ships are long behind each other. For me personally, a ‘hello’ in return will suffice.

Today is R U OK Day, and the idea is to engage with those around us in a meaningful way. Living with diabetes makes us even more prone to facing mental or emotional issues, and talking about these issues often makes them easier to deal with.

Perhaps one way that we could do this is by using the words ‘how are you’ when we actually mean them, and have the time to listen to the answer in return.

The Whole Patient

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I’ll never forget the social worker who came to visit me in hospital, a few short days after my diagnosis. She asked me if I was feeling anything in particular after my diagnosis. Angry? Depressed? Wanting to talk? She even asked if Mum and Dad needed to leave the room. I had to convince her that I was feeling fine, as she didn’t seem to want to believe me.

It still frustrates me today that this was the way that these emotional issues were dealt with.

Having the social worker come in like that made me feel isolated. Her presence, and her questions that day were based on assumptions that I did not appreciate. I didn’t feel like a normal patient. It didn’t make these issues feel normal. Even if I was feeling something that day, I certainly didn’t feel comfortable discussing it in front of a stranger who thought she knew me.

What really frustrates me, is the fact that I had been surrounded by medical professionals for days in the hospital. Doctors, nurses, dieticians, specialists. Yet I can’t recall one of them asking me how I was. I don’t mean my blood glucose levels. Or the hospital food. Or why I didn’t eat my white bread sandwich before bed. I mean how I was feeling after a diagnosis with a condition that would affect me for the rest of my life.

The healthcare professionals I was surrounded by at the time were the ones I felt most comfortable around. While I certainly don’t expect them to fill the role of a counsellor or a friend, I don’t think it’s too much to ask them to look at the whole patient. To simply ask something like “how’s it all going.” To show some empathy, where necessary. To help me feel normal, and understood. Sometimes, that’s all we need. Other times, they can help us find greater support.

During last Tuesday’s OzDOC chat, there was a debate over whether patients felt that they were on the same level as a healthcare professional during consultations. I believe that this is a very individual issue, that comes down to both the patient and the healthcare professional.

Some patients contribute to feeling on the same level as a healthcare professional. They are very motivated, switched on, and not afraid to speak up or search for what they want. However we are all different, and not everyone is as vocal in nature.

This is where it is the responsibility of a healthcare professional to make the patient feel on the same level. Some healthcare professionals I have encountered certainly don’t seem to live in the real world where day to day management of diabetes is concerned. Some lack the ability to look beyond what’s written in the charts for an explanation. 

Yet other healthcare professionals are able to discuss diabetes management in a very supportive and constructive manner. They are able to motivate the patient and praise their self management behaviours. They are able to see the whole patient.

When emotional wellbeing is prioritised in my diabetes care, I feel motivated to improve on what is contained in my chart. My healthcare professional only needs to put down that chart for a moment, and take a look at the whole patient sitting in front of it.

The Other Half of Diabetes

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Today is day 2 of Diabetes Blog Week, an annual event in the diabetes community created by Karen at BitterSweet Diabetes. Here is today’s prompt:

We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? (If you are a caregiver to a person with diabetes, write about yourself or your loved one or both!)

Being diagnosed with diabetes as a young adult has presented it’s own unique challenges. I had already lived a significant portion of my life without it, which I am extremely grateful for. However, everyone around me knew me without diabetes. It wasn’t just automatically there, which made acknowledging my diabetes publicly a very difficult task. It essentially entailed a new conversation and fielding a whole lot of questions. It’s a risk, and sadly some people react insensitively. Even today, many people still don’t know, or remember that I live with diabetes.

I was diagnosed at an age where I wanted to manage my diabetes myself. I didn’t want to burden others around me with my diabetes. I was, and still am extremely stubborn. The more time that passed, the more I closed myself off. I didn’t talk about diabetes. I struggled to even acknowledge what was going on in my head. I distinctly recall moments where I was struggling with the frequency of my hypos. I was slamming my fists into the wall, and then getting emotional and comfort eating my way well out of hypo territory behind a closed door.

I was very self conscious around my diabetes. I wanted to be seen as normally as possible. I didn’t want to be seen as the sick, “diabetic” kid. I didn’t want people to see me managing my diabetes and pity me. There were times where I didn’t want to test my blood sugar levels in front of others. I’m still very self conscious about injecting insulin in front of others.

Beginning this blog 18 months ago was a big step out of my diabetes comfort zone. I quietly began following other people with diabetes online. I nervously stuck my head into OzDOC chats. I began sharing more about my diabetes than I ever acknowledged in my own life.

Much to my surprise, I began genuinely connecting with other people online. I became extremely interested in diabetes. I became far more motivated around my own management, and standing up for what I want from my healthcare team. I entered the pumping world yesterday, as a result of a decision that I made happen myself. I had the privilege of travelling to Sydney last week, and making some online to in real life connections.

Today, I am still fiercely independent in managing my diabetes. The specifics around my diabetes is still a very personal topic. I don’t often talk about what’s going on with my numbers, my food, and other individual elements of my day to day management. I set the agenda, and my family respects that.

I am, however, more motivated to talk about my diabetes in a broader context. About what I expect from my healthcare team. Elements of my management that I’m hoping to make changes to, or do better. Talking about how diabetes makes me feel. Commenting on the news, and the politics around diabetes. My blog posts are often the subject of dinner table conversations, too!

Today, I am not so afraid of talking about my diabetes in front of others. I comfortably bring it up when it adds value to a conversation. I feel much more confident in the way that I express myself around my diabetes, that I no longer feel so conscious or so pitied. I feel that I am so much more of a “switched on” patient, and in a much better place with both my physical and emotional health.


I would say take a step out of your comfort zone. Take an interest in diabetes. Connect with others. You don’t have to do it all at once. Set some boundaries you are comfortable with.

I feel that the progress I have made with my diabetes over these past 18 months has been so worth it.

To read other posts related to today’s prompt, click here.