Sleep

The Diabetes Translation of “Good Thanks.”

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“Hi, how are you today?” Is what I’ll be asked the minute I walk into work this morning.

And “Haha, no too bad thanks.” Is my boring, stock standard reply that I seem to give every other day.

However, the diabetes translation of these words actually goes something like this:

Well, I wanted to have an early night yesterday. My blood sugar level was a perfect 5.3 at 9.42pm. I so badly wanted to go to bed and not think about numbers for 8 whole hours. But I couldn’t. That’s just one of the realities of having diabetes. I can do so, sometimes. But at the moment, I just can’t. I have absolutely no confidence in my night time glucose levels at the moment, which means that I can’t treat myself to a whole uninterrupted night’s sleep. I had to set my alarm last night, so that I could test my blood sugar levels during the night just to make sure.

I was startled awake at 12.30am by my favourite blaring noise that came from the alarm clock on my iPhone. My blood sugar level was another perfect 4.7, and I was able to quickly go back to sleep.

I woke up again at 2.11am, feeling a little shaky. I wanted so badly to ignore it, and drift back off to sleep. I could not be bothered opening my eyes and turning on the bright light of my bedside lamp in order to test. But I had to. I activated one of my diabetes superpowers and forced myself awake. Another perfect 4.5. I was convinced I was hypo, and had to test again just to be sure. Nope, it was 4.7. And with that, I was able to drift back off to sleep again.

I woke up next at 3.54am, feeling shaky once again. This time I was 3.1. I had to work out how many marshmallows I would treat my hypo with, and carefully measure them out onto the palm of my hand. If I don’t do this, my hypo-hangry brain will completely forget how many I’ve eaten once I start.

For the fourth time that night, I had to drift back off to sleep. And for the fourth time that night I was woken up, this time by my 5.50am morning alarm.

So, all in all, I had a crap night.

That’s what “not too bad thanks” really means, if I were to answer your question truthfully today.

Night Time Blood Glucose Monitoring Mishaps

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It was 10pm on Tuesday night, and I was getting ready to go to bed. We had Pasta for dinner, a family favourite in our house. Pasta usually produces really good blood sugar levels by bedtime. However, being a low glycemic index food, Pasta also tends to have somewhat of a delayed effect on my glucose levels. Once I fall asleep and the majority of my rapid acting insulin wears off, my blood sugar levels tend to creep up. And I’ll wake up the next morning with something crazy like 15.

I was a perfect 7.3 at bedtime that night, but I wasn’t confident that my blood sugar levels would settle there. So I decided to set the alarm on my phone for 12.50am, so that I could test and correct later on. I turned out the light, and went to sleep.

The next thing I knew, I began to stir as my Dad came and opened the door to my room. I could see light streaming in from behind the closed vertical blinds, and the clock on the side of my bed read 6.38am. I was convinced it was Saturday. I was still lying in bed at 6.38 in the morning because it was Saturday. Until Dad asked me if I was going to work that morning. And I realised that it was, in fact, Wednesday.

What the hell had happened? My mind was foggy, and for the life of me I couldn’t even remember hearing the alarm go off. Which was unusual. I hate my alarm. It’s one of those awful buzzer-like sounds that startles me awake in the morning. It’s so startling on a sleepy brain that I usually scramble to silence it each morning. But I also love it for the fact that it has never failed me. Until now.

I didn’t even hear that alarm go off at 12.50am. Well, at least I couldn’t remember hearing that alarm go off at 12.50am. As I tried to put the pieces together, the only reasonable explanation that I could come up with was that I had hit snooze at 12.50am. And in doing so, I hadn’t been able to re-set the alarm for the morning.

I angrily got up out of bed to test my blood sugar. I knew it would be high, but I was hoping for a miracle. The last thing I wanted to deal with that morning was a high blood sugar and the shitty mood that would inevitably go with it. But, as expected, diabetes gave me a lovely 15.6.

I furiously threw the covers on top of the bed and got dressed. I began swearing, and throwing every curse word I could think of at diabetes. I jabbed in 8 units of insulin. A couple of units to cover my usual morning requirements, and a couple to combat that stubborn 15 that I’d been sitting at for the past 8 hours.

I was so furious with myself that I decided I would go straight to work. I didn’t deserve breakfast with such a high blood sugar level. I didn’t deserve that coffee that I so enjoy relishing in the morning either. And the last thing I wanted was to go into work later and let diabetes take my afternoon away from me.

I clocked on at work at 6.58am, just in the nick of time.

And I added a second alarm to my iPhone, to ensure that this would never happen again.

Down Time

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I woke up at a quarter to eleven on Saturday morning. It had to have been one of my all time records. I never sleep in that late. I aboslutely hate the idea of wasting half the day sleeping. And to top it all off, my blood sugar level was a beautiful 18.9 (insert swear word). Waking up at that level is one of the worst things that I experience with diabetes. Being that high for the 10 hours I’d been sleeping is a horrible thought. The guilt of the potential damage I am doing to my body. The frustration of not having forced myself up during the night to check.

All in all, it was a pretty lousy start to the day. But it was hardly unexpected. It had been a busy and eventful couple of days. There were a couple of mornings where I started work earlier than normal. And of course, I didn’t make the time to get to bed any earlier like I should have.

Battling end of the week exhaustion, we also celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Friday. This, of course, meant a lot of bolus worthy treats to indulge in. Not to mention the delicious dinner that went before it. I can remember Mum handing me my slice of cake, asking if it was too big. It was too big. But, not wanting to draw attention or pity to myself in front of guests, I insisted it was fine. I really should have said something.

So, back to Saturday. I felt groggy. Lousy. Guilt ridden. I did something I never do. Its the one thing that I probably haven’t done since just before I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went back to bed in the middle of the day. Last time I did this I was on the verge of being diagnosed with diabetes. I had lost my appetite, my energy and willingness to go about my day. Today, I wasn’t unwell. I just needed to recharge.

Gotta say, it was just so nice to pull the blankets up, stretch my legs out and rest my head on the soft pillow as my blood sugar levels came down. I had The Goldbergs playing on my laptop and a cup of tea by my side as the afternoon light was streaming in through the window.

Turns out some down time was was just what I needed. I got up a few hours later feeling completely refreshed. My blood sugar had come down to a perfect 6.6. And I was ready to start all over again.

My Diabetes Superpowers

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I recently discovered that I have superpowers. Well, I’ve actually had them ever since I became a diabetic. But I’m only just starting to realise them, thanks to Tuesday’s OzDoc Twitter chat. And chances are, that if you’re a diabetic, you probably have them too!

Like being able to force myself out from under those cosy covers in the middle of the night to check my Blood Sugar Levels. Just to be sure that they are not too low. And not too high either. But just right.

Like waiting for the right moment to make a mad dash from the dinner table to the bathroom when I’m eating out. Dialing up a big dose of insulin for all that mouth watering food I probably shouldn’t have eaten and hoping for the best. Trying to dial up my insulin as quietly, as discreetly as I can so that person outside my cubicle won’t notice. Won’t think I’m a weirdo. Won’t think I’m taking drugs.

Like being able to check my blood sugar levels in stealth mode during the day. Concealing my meter under the desk or heading over to the corner of the room. And being able to hastily finish and quickly hide those items the moment I hear footsteps. The moment I hear voices. The moment I can sense that someone is near.

Like being either a super gifted mathematician or a really good guesser when it comes to the carbs in my food. Working out that golden formula that goes something like “if I’ve eaten x grams of carbs, that means I need x units of insulin.” And “if 1 unit of insulin brings my blood sugars down by 3 mmol/L, then I need x units of insulin to bring me back in range.”

And being able to pick myself up again after a low point. After some diabetes related frustration. After some anger. After some shouting. Even after slamming things. Even after comfort eating. All without even letting it show to those around me. And being able to start all over again.

But above all of these ‘superpowers,’ I believe that just being able to live and deal with something as dynamic as diabetes day in, day out sure is worthy of superhero status in itself.

And the superpower I’m still waiting for? A personal diabetes assistant who can carb count, bolus, test me while I’m asleep and correct for me!

I couldn’t be more thrilled that I’ve finally realised my superpowers. I’m afraid I have to leave you now and use those mathematics superpowers to rescue my blood sugar levels from today’s breakfast!

Join the Oz Diabetes Online Community chat every Tuesday night at 8.30pm AEST by following the #OzDoc hashtag on Twitter.