Holidays

Holi-daze

2 Comments

I’m back home this week after some much needed time out in Melbourne, and unfortunately back to the grind tomorrow. I didn’t really believe that Melbourne was capable of producing so many nice days (sans an icky 44 degrees at the Australian Open on Thursday), but it was nice to spend so much time outdoors. 

As I was on the plane home over the weekend, I came to this realisation that I hadn’t once given a thought to work throughout the week. Nor e-mails. Nor meals. Nor agendas or general life admin. 

It was a stark contrast to the (very limited) time that I had off over Christmas. I spent my time clearing out my filing cabinet. Catching up on the magazines and newsletters that I hadn’t gotten around to over the year. Clearing some virtual space on my Macbook. Vacuuming the dust from the floor and wiping away the coffee and bloodstains from my desk. 

I was still thinking about the daily grind. The time was over before I knew it.

Going away is truly amazing in its ability to pull me away from my environment and take my mind away from the grind. No morning alarms. No work. Nothing to think about except for what I wanted to do today. By the time it was over, I felt as though I had been gone for ages. 

The only thing that I did have to bring with me, unfortunately, was diabetes.  

Holidays are always a bit of a fine balance. There are lots of extra carbs (read: plenty of coffees and trips to Brunetti). But there’s also a lot of extra walking, which has the potential to send me low. 

Overall, I was pretty happy with my BGs while I was away. I was more generous than usual with my insulin guesstimates, thinking about the greater likelihood of going high after the carbs rather than low. There were a couple of lows, but all of the walking around mostly helped to keep things level. There were a few stubborn blips, particularly in the evenings, but overall I didn’t spend my nights battling sustained highs. 

Now, reality has sunk back in. But I feel somewhat refreshed. And ready to tackle what this year has in store for me. 

Removed From My Diabetes

1 Comment

I’m heading back to reality today after a relaxing, yet eventful Easter break, a few too many Lindt bunnies and hot cross buns.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDhVxlpA_ev/?taken-by=franksita

I haven’t easily forgotten the exhaustion I felt towards the end of last year. I’d pushed myself too hard at the time. My mind was in overdrive thinking about all of the things I wanted to get done at once, even though I knew it wasn’t realistic. It also wasn’t realistic to be able to keep going to work day in, day out for months and months on end with no break in sight.

I’m trying to map out my breaks throughout 2016, so that I’ll have something to look forward to. I’m also trying to give myself a bit more time to breathe at the end of the day, reminding myself that all of the things on my list will still be there to do tomorrow.

Hence, a break over Easter, and a break from my blog.

I will also confess to feeling a little ‘removed’ from my diabetes for a few days over the Easter weekend. Diabetes took a bit of a backseat while I was worried about a family member who wasn’t well.

The routine things like testing my blood sugar level after lunch, or getting up to test during the night seemed pointless in comparison to what was going on. There were occasions where I would fail to give my insulin dose straight away. Seeing morning numbers like 10, 12, or even 14 on the meter are usually enough to make me either angry or emotional (or both). Yet they didn’t even upset me in the slightest at the time. In comparison to what was going on, a few high numbers felt like the least of my worries.

For almost six years, I’ve managed diabetes through uni assignments, through working, through celebrations, through burnouts, through birthdays, Christmases and Easters. Yet there’s only ever been one thing that has actually made me abandon my post as the operator of my broken pancreas.

Distress.

I felt removed from my diabetes that weekend. I felt as though my diabetes was miles and miles away from my body. I didn’t want anything to do with it. Rather, I didn’t feel compelled to do the things that I should have been doing. Those things didn’t even seem remotely important at the time.

It was bitter to see someone I loved unwell. But it was sweet to have a break, to get used to the whole not-going-to-work thing, watch movies at lunchtime and watch Autumn set in.

IMG_0803

Bitter-Sweet. Just like diabetes, right?

Dragging Diabetes Through the Christmas Season

5 Comments

It’s definitely starting to feel like the end of the year. And I, for one, am feeling plain exhausted. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just that end of the year, over-it-all exhaustion.

I’ve had a lot of late nights recently. I’ve often sat down in front of the laptop with the intention of surfing the web for Christmas gift ideas. That’s often ended with me at the eBay checkout at midnight, after hours deliberating over goodies for myself. Last week it was a new phone case, a longer iPhone charging cable and some headphones with an extension cord. I was also hunting down an iPad, a new Medic Alert bracelet and a few diabetes books.

Work is beginning to feel plain monotonous. I don’t feel like I’m a human being during the mornings as I’m getting myself up and ready. I can no longer be bothered bringing my lunch from home. I feel about half as motivated than normal during the day. I stubbornly told myself that I’d work through it and save up my annual leave a few weeks ago. Now I feel like I am well and truly in need of a break.

I have zero motivation towards managing my diabetes well at the moment. There are get togethers and festive meals planned over the next couple of days. Boxes of chocolate, shortbread, Pannetone and candy canes are beginning to pile up at home. And there’ll be plenty of leftover food and deserts in the fridge to indulge in during the aftermath. I’m giving insulin injections my best guess, and closely monitoring my blood sugar levels about twice as much than normal.

Yet amidst all of this, I still somehow look forward to this time of the year. Going to the Christmas tree farm and cutting down our third real, live Christmas tree.

Seeing the suburbs light up in colourful Christmas lights in the middle of the Australian summer.

DSC01700

Making the most of the sunshine and cool Summer weather before the heat sets in for the rest of the season. And yes, I can even spend Christmas at the beach!

Seeing family (some of them, at least!). Good food. Collapsing on the couch feeling stuffed and happy. Post Christmas bargain hunting (although I think I’ve already started on this one!)

Managing diabetes is hard work. I feel it more than anything at this time of the year, when everyone and everything else is taking time out to unwind at the end of the year. I would love to have the option for diabetes to shut up shop at this time of the year.

While that’s not a possibility for me, I am still proud to be able to enjoy this time of year. I can confidently say that diabetes hasn’t made Christmas too different since I was diagnosed. And in my eyes, that makes all the hard work and extra attention well worth the effort.

Merry Christmas. Wishing you a happy, and safe festive season.

– Frank

Throwing Away all the Rules in Sydney

6 Comments

I spend most days doing my best to resist all those foods that I know are bad for my blood sugar levels. Like the goodies my work Mums pull out of their pockets without fail. Like the birthday morning teas at work where pink donuts are mandatory. Like the packet of Tim Tams or slice of leftover cake with my cuppa in the afternoon. And then having to fight the urge to open a packet of chips afterwards for my something savoury.

Over time, I’ve gotten better at it, and I am more resilient. I’m proud to say that I no longer need to have that afternoon snack that’s been a part of my daily routine for my whole life. I still do allow myself these things on occasions, and Friday is still my I-can’t-be-bothered-I’ll-buy-my-lunch-at-work kind of a day. But it’s a hard job. So when I go on holidays, I tend to throw away all the rules.

I don’t go on holidays too often, and it will probably be a long time until I go back to Sydney again. And so, I get that feeling of needing to stock up. Moreso when you come from a tiny city like Perth. Of needing to get my fill, while I can. Before it all goes away again. And boy oh boy, did I find some good spots.

Like a cake and cappuccino at the best Pasticceria in Sydney, Via Del Corso. I think I stopped by there almost every day. I’m not even ashamed to admit that I went there one afternoon after I’d already had a coffee and cannoli elsewhere. The Choc Panna Cotta, the Baked Ricotta Cheesecake, the Tiramisu or the Snickers, there was no shortage of choices there to aid my difficult decision making!

DSC01075

Then there’s the best Cannoli in Sydney, at Rossini Cafe on the harbour. If it wasn’t such a trek to walk, you would have seen me there every day for sure. When I finished my climb of the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the dark last week, my blood sugar level had rebounded to a lovely 17 after my Hypo on the Harbour. It was dark and I was ridiculously high. But all I wanted to do was trek over to Rossini’s for one of their massive, freshly filled Cannoli served on a pile of thick, creamy custard. Public apology to my Mum, I had forgotten just how awesome these were since last time.

https://instagram.com/p/4-wUfvA_U4/

 

Then there’s the Lindt Cafe. You know, the one in Martin Place that was the setting of the tragic Sydney Siege last year. Going by the crowds inside, it’s hard to believe that something so terrible could have happened here. The hot chocolate was SO worth the trek. Again, I came here one afternoon shortly after a coffee and cake at Via Del Corso. And I guess it serves me right that I went most of the trip not realising there was another Lindt Cafe closer to where I was staying!

https://instagram.com/p/5GNQDXg_dc/

 

And finally, Darling Harbour. I think we ate here all but one night. The best thing here is the three-course-meal-and-a-glass-of-wine-for-$30 thing. Almost every restaurant here has some sort of tempting not-so-diabetes-friendly offer like it.

DSC00973

DSC00976

The most suprising thing was how well my blood sugar levels managed all this food on the trip. Most days I went without breakfast or lunch simply because I was full from all the other crap I was eating. But I honestly don’t recall having half as many hypers or hypos as my last holiday. There were even some mornings where I woke up in disbelief seeing numbers below 10.

I CAN travel with diabetes. I CAN eat crap. And I CAN still produce decent blood sugar levels afterwards.

Bring on the next one.

Holiday Headspace, With A Side of Diabetes

2 Comments

DSC00618

When I go travelling, I’m the first to admit that I tend to take a “break” from diabetes. Then again, I can’t literally take a break from diabetes. But I do put it on the back bench. I decide to enjoy all of the holiday eating that comes with travel, and just do enough to get by. I don’t pay too much attention to my blood sugar levels when I’m travelling. But I know there is a lot of extra bolussing. Lots of spikes and lots of surges. Diabetes “Rest” Mode.

If there is one thing I do hope to achieve from this trip, its to be a little more sensible. I don’t exactly enjoy watching my BGLs surge after that massive lunch and then having to fix those nasty lows that come afterwards. I don’t enjoy walking around uncertain of where my Blood Sugar Levels might be at this point in time because of all that spontaneous eating. I want to tuck into some good holiday food, but I also want to be sensible at the same time.

I have had a LOT of conversations about this trip with others over the last couple of weeks. And the thing that everyone loves to remind me of is just how cold Canberra is going to be at this time of year. Over and over. I say bring it.

There’s one particular conversation that did stand out to me. I was talking about travel with a friend at work a few weeks ago. She also happens to be jetting off on the same day as me, and we’ve been counting down the days together for weeks.

“Think of all the wonderful sights you’ll see in your lifetime,” she said.

We both agreed that we weren’t big on travelling for long periods of time. That we both missed the comforts of home, and that we would get sick of eating out all the time while on holidays. I brought up the fact that I had diabetes, which did make eating out a challenge.

“But you walk around a lot and exercise, won’t that help with your sugar levels?” She said to me.

“I have type 1 diabetes. Sugar has nothing to do with it. My body just can’t process most of the foods that I eat,” I replied.

No resentment here. It’s just one of many examples of how much type 1 unawareness we have in this country. Even people who know me, who talk to me everyday, still don’t get it. They think that somehow I got this disease because I was unhealthy.

But anyway, fast forward to now. It’s taken me ages to get into that holiday headspace. And its finally hit me, sitting at the airport (which looks WAY too deserted to be the Capital of Australia). The holiday (and much cooler) me has taken over, ready for some new adventures.