Dear Crossfit

8 Comments

Dear Crossfit,

I must say that I was rather offended by your recent social media posts claiming that sugar causes diabetes.

screen-shot-2015-07-01-at-6-33-06-am

I don’t know if you realised, but there are actually TWO completely different types of diabetes. While a diet high in sugar may contribute to type 2 diabetes, there is actually another type of diabetes that has no definitive cause.

Its a little thing called type 1 diabetes. I live with it. And I manage it, to the best of my ability. Every. Single. Day. And there are thousands and thousands of other, mostly young people, who develop this disease each day. There are young children, even babies, who get this horrible disease. There are concerned parents and loved ones who take on the emotional stress of this disease day in, day out.

And please know that they did nothing wrong to deserve it. They weren’t lazy children. They did not get it from spending too much time in front of the television. They did not get it from eating too much junk food. They did not get it from not playing outdoors enough. And they most certainly did not get it from eating too much sugar.

Please know that you attach a stigma to people living with type 1 diabetes. Just one of many stigmas we already face when living and dealing with diabetes in our day to day lives. You are helping others to make assumptions and judgements about me, and about people like me. Assumptions and judgements that are not true, and will have an impact on my own personal feelings and the opportunities that will come my way in life.

And to be completely honest, I’m insulted when I have to hear such disrespectful and untrue statements from companies like yours. You make me feel about this big. And I worry for all of the young, impressionable minds. To the individuals out there who are struggling with the physical and emotional aspects of this disease right now. When they have to hear messages like this, its probably enough to make them give up hope. To stop trying. To stop fighting. To stop aspiring.

screen-shot-2015-07-01-at-6-33-32-am

But what bothers me most of all is your ignorance. Any other company would acknowledge that they’ve done wrong. I could even accept that this marketing message wasn’t thought through well enough. But your total ignorance and willingness to continue defending this message is an absolute disgrace.

I, along with every other type 1 diabetic in the world, are waiting for an apology. Even just an acknowledgement that you’ve done wrong would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

Frank

 

 

A Blood Test and a Hangry Morning

11 Comments

Yesterday morning my blood sugars finally gave me the all clear to go to the clinic and have that blood test I’d been wanting to do last week. My endocrinologist usually requests a blood test inbetween appointments to test my kidney functions, urine, hba1c and a bunch of other stuff that I wouldn’t have a clue about. I really wanted to get it done now, considering I am off on holidays next week and I’m sure my Blood Sugar Levels will be less than favourable.

The biggest struggle is having to go on fasted bloods. That means, not being able to eat anything for at least 10 hours prior. Not being able to go hypo for a whole 10 hours. Thinking extremely carefully about what I’m going to have for dinner. Thinking carefully about the insulin dose I give at dinner. Making sure that my long acting insulin dose won’t send me low during the night either. All to ensure that none of those marshmallows on the side of my bed will need to enter my mouth for a whole 10 whole hours.

Getting up without breakfast is hard. Starting the car without a coffee is harder. And sitting down to wait in that clinic with nothing to take my mind off of my hunger is a million times harder. When I’m hangry (hungry-angry), any and every little thing irritates me. Like the fact that the clinic opens at 7, but the doctors won’t arrive until closer to 7.30. Like that child screaming in the waiting room. Like that man sitting next to me, coughing. And that woman loudly flicking the pages of that 5 year old magazine. And that there are already 4 people ahead of me in line at 6.30 – how early do you get up??

The doctors have arrived and they start calling numbers. I’m looking at my watch in disbelief. It’s quarter to eight and yet it feels like a whole day has passed. Every minute that passes by on my watch feels like an ordeal. ‘How long does it take to do a blood test? Are they telling the doctor their whole life story in there or something?’ I can’t scroll through Facebook for the millionth time this morning. By this point I start to get shaky. I’m fidgety. My stomach is growling loudly (how embarassing!). The hanger has well and truly set in. I feel claustrophobic. I want nothing more than to slam open those doors and bolt for the nearest vending machine. ‘Number 5…Number 5…’ 

Number 5! I jump from my seat and bolt towards the doctor calling my number. I sit in that chair as quickly as I can. I try to sit as still as I can manage. Clearly noticing my fidgeting, the doctor asks if I’m scared of needles. I laugh, trying to explain that I’m just starving.

In a few minutes the ordeal is over. I burst open those clinic doors, breathing in gulps of that fresh morning air, and bursting out sighs of relief. Thankfully I’m just around the corner, and the thought of breakfast makes the ride home much more bearable.

There. Bloodwork done and dusted for another six months.

Thanks, #DOC

1 Comment

I wasn’t feeling my best towards the end of last week, and I just wanted to say a huge thankyou to all of my DOC friends who reached out to me here and on Twitter. Your support meant the world, and is a huge testament to the Diabetes Online Community. It truly is one of the most positive, supportive, non judgy environments I’ve ever found. Its nice to know during times like those that I am not alone.

I also want to apologise if my posts sounded a little too depressing. I know that I don’t always enjoy reading blog posts that talk about the darker aspects of diabetes. But that is a harsh reality. There are good stretches as well as bad stretches. And chances are, there are others out there right now going through exactly the same thing I was. Others who can benefit from reading this, others who can make a connection and realise they are not alone.

I like to think that I strike a good balance between the positives and the negatives of diabetic life in this blog. I also choose to share these experiences for myself. Writing really helps me to process and better understand what I’m going through. Sometimes I use this space as a way to reflect on a situation or to simply clear my head. Sometimes its almost therapeudic. But, its not for everyone.

I’m happy to report that I am in a better headspace today (if only I didn’t have to go to work!). I finished binging on Better Call Saul and Fresh off the Boat, went for a few sunny walks and also woke up to an exciting opportunity in my e-mail inbox on Saturday morning.

And I can’t believe that its almost July. I can’t believe that I’ve kept at this blog for the better part of 6 months. Its hard to believe that six months ago, I knew nothing about diabetes (well, compared to what I know now, it feels like nothing). Six months ago, I had no idea that the DOC existed. And six months ago I didn’t really have much of a passion or a goal beyond my day job.

I’m pretty excited for what’s on the horizon this month. Wimbledon starts tonight. Horray for some long nights rugged up in front of the telly. Fingers crossed those over hyped Aussies will get knocked out quickly so we can see some good matches (where’s my Australian spirit, right?). Under the Dome is back. At the end of the week I’m setting off on a much needed holiday. And hopefully blogging will help me to be a little more sensible with my travel choices this time around (I’m not making any promises, though…). I’ll be joining the National Diabetes Week campaign here in Oz soon, and there are a couple of other exciting things that I have planned for this space.

I just wanted to say a huge thanks for your continued support of this blog, and beyond. It means the world. And finally, a few memes to remind us that we are not alone with diabetes (and to have a laugh, too!).

Thanks, #DOC.

483689

image

483619

Headspace

6 Comments

I really haven’t been in a great headspace these past couple of days. And I feel as though writing yesterday’s post didn’t help. Usually I write some of these posts to clear my mind, reflect and feel better, and yesterday’s post didn’t seem to do the trick for me. It seemed to make my headspace worse.

I really did not feel like going to work yesterday. I did not want to budge from my warm bed at 6am when it was 4 degrees outside. I did not feel like repeating the same, monotonous chores of the morning. And throughout the day, I just seemed to lack any sort of enthusiasm in talking to people. I struggled join in on our usual morning laughter at work. I lacked any sort of motivation to get my work done. And the day definitely dragged along.

I’ve been wanting to go for a blood test these last few days, which my endocrinologist routinely orders inbetween appointments to check my urine, kidney functions, hba1c, and all those other vitamins and nutrients. And on two of those mornings I was planning to go, I woke up low. Not terrible, scary low, but low enough that I had to have some marshmallows and ruin my fasted bloods. Not the best frame of mind to start the day with.

And these past few days, I just feel like seeing the negatives around me. Getting irritated because they are talking too loudly. Snapping when being asked if I’m ready to leave. And cursing (insert your own swear words here!) everytime that damn phone rings at work.

I think I’m just feeling a little burnt out. And in desperate need of a break. Funnily enough, a break is only a week away, and yet I can’t even seem to muster any sort of enthusiasm or excitement for it. That realisation is yet to hit me. Its yet to even motivate me forward.

But, there is a nice resolution to this story.

Last night, we went out with the family for dinner. Usually I love eating out. But last night, I really was not up for it. Not wanting to ruin the night, I sat there quietly and tried not to say anything. I guess the best thing about last night was being forced to take time away from all of these other things going on in my life. By the end of the night, I did start to join in on the conversation, a little. By the end of the night, I was feeling a little better.

There were also a few words of encouragement from the DOC on Twitter last night and again when I woke up this morning. The DOC is just amazing for this, especially considering I don’t even know any of these people. And this morning, I am finally able to crack a little smile because it is Friday. I will get that break I so desperately need in 8 hours time. And I will hopefully be able to regroup and get my head back into the right space.

 

Learning to Say ‘No’

4 Comments

Learning to say ‘no’ around others is one of the most difficult challenges that I face in my day to day life with diabetes. Almost every day I come face to face with temptation from others. Whether it’s the offer of a mid morning coffee at work, the sweets that person brought in from home to try, or the array of dolce at our family get togethers. Temptation lies behind every corner I turn, and at any given time of the day. Its not something that I can easily escape.

I could accept that piece of mid morning cake. I could take the easy option out. I would be able to indulge in that chocolate fix that I know I really want. No questions will be asked. There’ll be no mention of the d word. Just sweet, simple pleasure.

But I know I’ll be spoiling my after breakfast blood sugar levels, which are usually good most days. I know I’ll have to try and make a subtle dash to the bathroom 10 minutes later and quickly jab in a shot of insulin. I know it’ll be a guesstimate. It might be too little. Or I might end up hypo later on. But, I won’t have to bring up that d word, again. I won’t have to answer questions, again.

Or I could take the harder option of trying to politely refuse that piece of mid morning cake. More than likely, I’ll have to refuse that offer again a second time. More insistently. I’ll be innocently asked “why not?” “What’s wrong?” “You don’t feel well?” And I’ll have to remind them that I have diabetes. Yet again. And I’ll have to explain what that means. Yet again. I’ll have to answer those “so, you can’t eat sugar” questions. Yet again. Yeah, my blood sugars will be great. Yeah, I won’t have to make that mad dash to the bathroom. And yeah, I guarantee myself stability for the rest of the morning.

But I’ll be reminded of just how much of an uphill battle I face by simply leaving the house every day. Of the hurdles I have to overcome just to keep my blood sugar levels steady day in, day out. Of what I’m missing out on because I have diabetes. Of the confidence I lack in talking about my diabetes more often and more enthusiastically to others. And of just how much diabetes unawareness there actually is out there.

I know the people around me mean well. I know they are not doing it to me on purpose. And I certainly don’t think my life with diabetes is terrible. But when I see those looks of sadness, looks of concern and looks of pity from others, it’s enough to bring me down. And it’s enough to ruin my attitude towards diabetes management for another day.