Diabetes Musings

The Power of Words In The DOC

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It’s the smallest things that mean the most to me.

Like the surprise e-mails that arrive in my inbox from time to time. I need only tap the title card and I’ll almost certainly be guaranteed warm words. The greeting, so friendly and so personal, it could be from someone I saw only yesterday. The narrative, so open and inviting, as though the person writing it could be someone who knows me in real life. The kindness, so real and so genuine, that I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it.

This week, I was absolutely touched by a relatively new friend in the diabetes online community. I had the widest grin on my face when I read that they were so inspired by my “non-championed, non elite” account of life with diabetes.

Was I touched to receive a compliment? You bet. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

However, it was the power of those words themselves that were even more touching.

I am not a celebrity. I am not an athlete. I am not one of the cool kids. I am not the biggest Facebooker, Tweeter or Photographer. I am not a genius. I am not rich. I am certainly not the kind of person who can sugar coat everything and tell you what you want to hear. And I certainly don’t have diabetes all figured out, either…

However, I can write. I love to write. It takes time. It’s creative. It’s thoughtful. It’s very meaningful. I find it extremely empowering, and even a little therapeutic at times. I channel a lot of my creative energy into my writing week in, week out. Writing is my passion. It’s something I would happily do for the rest of my life.

I think it’s simply amazing how something as ordinary as words can be so powerful. It’s amazing how these words can form a connection. A bond to someone on the other side of the world, who I don’t even know. It’s amazing how words can usher in this sense of community. A space for support and security, that I rely on each and every day. It’s amazing how something as consuming as diabetes can be overpowered by reading simple words that I can relate to. Words that urge me to respond with “I get it.”

I am simply an ordinary person, who also happens to have diabetes. It was one of the very reasons I began to blog just over a year ago. It was one of the reasons I was so touched by that compliment.

Words are powerful. Words are the reason I write. Words are the reason I will continue to exist in this diabetes community each and every day.

Until we find a cure, know that your words mean as much to me as mine hopefully mean to you.

Happy Friday!

The Physical Toll of Blood Sugar Swings

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My alarm clock went off at 5.45am yesterday morning, and it was honestly the best I’ve felt in months.

It took me 2 minutes to get up out of bed, instead of the usual 10. My eyelids weren’t so heavy, and I didn’t have to fight the urge to close them shut again. I wasn’t groaning, and I didn’t feel so exhausted for a change. I was standing in the kitchen, sipping my morning coffee, before the clock on the oven had flipped well past 6.00. Add to that, a perfect blood sugar level of 7.8.

Going about my day, I just feel really good at the moment. I feel good on the inside. I’m not breathing heavily, my mind is at ease, and I’m much more relaxed. I’m not so angry at silly things. I feel kind of, well, free.

I’m in a really happy place with my diabetes at the moment. After months of really struggling, and after months of every effort feeling like an effort, diabetes is suddenly running really smoothly again. Looking back from the other side of a rough couple of months, I am finally realising how much of a physical effect crazy blood sugar swings were having on my body.

Right now, diabetes management seems to be “working.” Every action seems to spawn a flow on effect, that echoes positively throughout my day.

Take Monday, for instance.

My blood sugar hovered in the 4s. For the whole afternoon.

Come dinnertime, I was debating over whether to give 11 units of Lantus, or drop it down to 10. Now that I’m no longer eating so much junk, a smaller dose is enough to keep me stable through the night. My intuition told me that 10 units would do the trick, and it did!

We’ve had a nice spell of mild weather this week. It was not 28 degrees at bed time for a change, and I was actually tempted to have an early night. I enjoyed a comfortable night’s sleep without the air-conditioner and a scratchy throat in the morning, which has been sorely missed these last few months.

In addition to that, diabetes efforts through the night are significantly reduced. I find that I no longer need to predict lows or chase highs at night time. Rather, my levels are a lot more stable, and I have a lot more confidence in where they are sitting through the night. I was 8.7 before bed on Monday, which was fine as there was still a little active insulin on board. When I woke up to check at 1am, I was 7.5. I thought about the frittata I’d had for dinner, and decided on a half unit of insulin to cover any delayed effect from the egg. It worked a treat!

Of course, none of this is happening by magic.

I am doing all of the hard work here. But I am paying attention to those finer details. Like carb counting, pre-bolussing, snacking healthier, and thinking more carefully. It’s those finer details that produce this flow on effect, where everything is “in sync.” And when everything is in sync, it allows me a little more ease overall in managing my diabetes.

Right now, I am motivated. I am motivated by the way I am feeling. This diabetes high tastes so good, and I want to do everything in my power to make it last for as long as possible.

Disclosing Diabetes In The Workplace

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Do you have a disability or medical condition that will impact on your ability to perform the role?

If you’ve applied for a job before, you’ve probably seen one of these lovely stock standard questions *rolls eyes* on a job application form.

So, how do you go about disclosing that you have diabetes in front of a potential employer?

In my experience of job hunting (and this is my opinion only), employers can receive hundreds and hundreds of applications for an advertised role. There’s a good chance that they’re not going to have the time, or the effort, to go through and carefully read each one. In some cases, employers may have an ideal ‘type’ of candidate in mind for the role. Perhaps someone who will gel easily with the young, savvy communications team. Or someone who has been raised in a similar culture to that of the European family construction business. Employers cannot exactly ask for these traits on the job description, but they certainly may look for them during the selection process.

When I’m applying for any job, I want to make a good impression. I want to present myself in the best light possible, so that an employer will want to hire me right away. Yet sadly, many people don’t know enough about diabetes. There is a lot of stigma out there about us. Sadly, people will make judgements. When my application is sitting in a pile with 100 others, I need to make it a good one. So why would I risk ruining that first impression of myself in front of a stranger by ticking that box asking about a medical condition?

When I interpret that question myself, I personally do not believe that having diabetes will impact on my ability to perform a role. Aside from occasionally ducking out to check my blood sugar or treat a hypo, diabetes doesn’t really affect my job. Many of the people I work with don’t even know that I have diabetes, and I believe that goes to show just how good I am at it. I’ve taken on one of the more physically demanding roles in my workplace, and I’m very proud that diabetes hasn’t held me back. In fact, I’d even go as far as saying that I perform my own job a lot better than some of the other people in my workplace who don’t have diabetes!

I have gone for many job interviews in the past, and believe me, diabetes has been the least of my worries. Usually it’s the ridiculous question they asked me that had nothing to do with the job, or that the role sounded completely different to what was advertised online. In fact, one of my interviewers made the news last year when he was sentenced to imprisonment! Let’s just say he wasn’t a very nice man…

I believe that an employer absolutely has the right to know about my diabetes. If I were hiring someone to work for me, I would definitely want to know what to expect. I would want to make sure that my employer is comfortable with my having diabetes. If I were successful in getting through those application “hoops,” I would then proceed to disclose my diabetes before accepting the job. In my opinion however, until I find an employer who likes me and wants to hire me, there’s nothing to tell.

For The Love of Automation

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At 8.10am yesterday morning, I made a call to a clinic where I had an appointment booked.

“Hello, you’ve reached [clinic name]. Our offices are staffed on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 8am to 3.30pm, on Tuesday from 8am to 2pm, and closed on Fridays. Please try calling again during business hours.”

When I was told during business hours that I should try calling back during business hours, I hung up the phone in frustration. I knew that once my work day headed into full swing, I’d likely forget to call again before 3.30pm.

When I eventually did call again at 1.01pm, I was greeted with the same message. Only this time, I listened long enough to catch an additional option on the end where I could leave a message. I left my name, the purpose of my call, and a telephone number that I could be reached on.

At 1.09pm, that call was promptly returned.

“I was wondering if you would be able to e-mail me my appointment confirmation letter now so that I can arrange time off from work,” I asked the receptionist.

This clinic usually sends confirmation letters four weeks prior to an appointment. However since I would need a few days off from work after this appointment, I wanted the letter as soon as possible.

“We only send appointment letters out four weeks in advance. We don’t actually send the letters ourselves. It’s automatically generated through the computer. Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do,” she replied.

“Would I be able to get a letter from the doctor?” I asked.

After a few umms and ahhs (much like my own), I decided that I would simply have to give my boss the dates now, and owe him the appointment letter and doctor’s note when I got them. I thanked the receptionist for returning my call, and she wished me a great day.

The reality is that many large businesses I deal with seem to go out of their way to avoid human interaction with me. As my mother often says, gone are the days where a business caters to what the customer wants.

Yet if I were the one cancelling the appointment, I’d be expected to call up in person, with reasonable notice, give an explanation for cancelling, and possibly jeopardise my ability to make appointments in future.

If I were to fall sick tomorrow, I’d love nothing more than to be able to send one generic mass email to everyone I had to cancel on. But in reality, I’d be on the phone or emailing every single person affected. They’d have an explanation, my sincere apologies and an invitation to reschedule.

If I can make that effort for free, surely businesses can be more flexible in delivering their services when the need arises.

A freaking letter shouldn’t be that hard…

Selfish Perspectives

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I feel like I’ve been pretty selfish this week.

On Monday I shouted iced coffees for my team at work on a 42 degree day. I drove my air conditioned car to diabetes clinic, paid an overpriced fee to park undercover and complained about it. I made the decision to switch to an expensive insulin pump in May, even though I can do the same thing with injections. I whinged about an endo who wasn’t supportive enough, despite the fact that I had access to a diabetes specialist and paid absolutely nothing to see him.

On Tuesday I bought croissants to have for lunch the next day, even though I had bread in the cupboard at home. I bought my favourite coffee capsules that were on sale, despite the fact that I already had a stockpile in my locker and instant coffee in the kitchen that would do the same job in satisfying my caffeine fix. I also went out dinner with my family for Mum’s birthday, despite the fact that the cupboards and fridges at home are never empty.

On Wednesday I wanted to make a cake for my Mum’s actual birthday, despite the fact that we’d already celebrated with a fancy dinner. I drove my air conditioned car to the supermarket that is literally a stone’s throw from my house, despite the fact that I could have walked there. I bought cooking chocolate, almonds and whipping cream, even though I could have easily made a simpler cake with the ingredients on hand at home.

On Thursday I asked my team mates if they wanted to pitch in and play lotto for the $20 million this Saturday, even though I already have enough money to live comfortably. I walked over to the coffee shop at lunch time for an iced coffee, even though I had coffee capsules and instant coffee at work. I apologised for the gift card I gave to my Mum for her birthday because it wasn’t thoughtful enough, despite the fact that I’d spent a generous amount of money on it.

Which brings me to Friday. More than likely, I’m going to buy an overpriced coffee on the way to work this morning. I’ll be too lazy to make my lunch at home, and I’ll just buy junk food that I don’t really need to be eating. I’ll probably withdraw some money from the ATM on the way out for the weekend, even though I have bank cards in my wallet that do the same thing.

And you’re probably wondering what the point of this rambly post is, right?

I’ve been reflecting on all of this today, and it really got me to thinking about Spare a Rose and my own donation to Life For a Child a week ago. When I think of the disadvantaged children in other parts of the world who cannot afford insulin and diabetes supplies, my own complaints look really petty and selfish. Compared to all of the unnecessary money I’ve spent this week, my own donation to Life For a Child seems pretty poor.

So, today I’ve matched the donation I made to Life For a Child a week ago.

Without access to diabetes supplies, education and healthcare, people with diabetes will suffer. Without insulin, people with diabetes won’t survive. That’s a human being living with the same condition, just like you or I. Or a son. A daughter. A sister. A brother. A mother. A father. A friend. A family member. An aquaintance. Or even a stranger.

If you are reading this, you are touched by diabetes.

And nobody deserves to die because they have diabetes.

This weekend, consider telling your loved ones that you’ve given life to a child with diabetes rather than gifts.

Flowers die, but children shouldn’t.

Visit sparearose.org, and give life to a child with diabetes today.

Also be sure to check out the folks at t1interational, who advocate for people with diabetes in developing countries. I wrote about their Insulin 4 All campaign in November.

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