Diabetes Musings

September Goals, Of The Diabetes Kind

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I always tell myself that I’m going to do all of these new things. I’m going to eat healthier, exercise more, get my BGLs down, finish my book and take more time out for myself. It’s so easy to imagine the better person that I’m going to be for it, and I always get swept away at the thought of achievement and success.

If only reality were that simple. I have been absolutely terrible at sticking with goals in the past. And I always get laughed at for the things that I quickly give up or put away, such as the new book on my bedside table every week, or the bike and helmet sitting out in the shed. I doubt that I’ve kept with a single one of my goals in the past. Until now, that is.

One of my personal goals at the beginning of this year was to start a blog. And never in a million years did I imagine what would come from it. For one thing, I never thought that I’d be able to keep at it for so long. Or that I would enjoy writing it so much. Or that people would actually read it. I never thought that I would actually become interested, or dare I say passionate, about diabetes. I never would have guessed that there was a massive Diabetes Online Community out there, and that I would have friends all over the world because of it. And I never would have imagined writing an advocacy column for Insulin Nation that was noticed by Diabetes Australia and resulted in a small policy change.

Today, setting some new goals finally seems realistic. And I actually have some confidence in myself that I might achieve them, or at least give them a red hot crack.

Return to good overnight blood sugar levels

I enjoyed 2 weeks of waking up to perfect blood sugar levels, and it was honestly the best feeling in the world. I woke up with so much positive energy and enthusiasm to go about my day, and I would love to return to that.

Set some social media free time

I heart the DOC. It’s the best thing that’s come from having diabetes, ever. But I do feel that it has gotten to the point of being a little overwhelming and time consuming. I would love to get into a routine of switching off before bed. I feel a lot calmer and happier when I make time for myself, and sleep easier.

Finish my book

A year ago, I eagerly trekked into the city to grab a copy of Under the Dome by Stephen King, yet I’ve lacked all motivation to read it. I picked it up again a few weeks ago, and I’m now more than halfway through.

Be more positive

I would love to be a little more positive. I often curse, complain, sigh and let the frustrations that occur throughout the day get to me. I would love to be able to just shrug them off and see more positives.

Read more diabetes blogs and interact more in the #DOC

I kind of feel guilty that I write a diabetes blog, but don’t read as many others as I’d like. I also feel guilty for all the support I receive from the #DOC but don’t return back. I’ll often spend time crafting a response to a tweet or blog post, overthink my comment, and then end up deleting it. I need to just go with it!

Write another column for Insulin Nation

I wrote a fantastic piece for Insulin Nation in July about access to test strips in Australia. It triggered an overwhelming response and was one of my proudest advocacy moments. I’d love to come up with another story as well written as that one, and I know that they would love to have me back to write for them again.

It goes to show that you should dream big. If you believe in it, others will see it.

Like my blog? Follow me on Facebook: facebook.com/type1writes.

Everything in Moderation Will NOT Cause Diabetes

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Okay, so I was sucked into part 2 of Sunday Night’s report on the Paleo diet again last night. If you’ve been living under a rock, reporter Mike Willessee undertook the Paleo diet for 10 weeks with the help of My Kitchen Rules judge and chef Pete Evans (I’ll call him Paleo Pete from here on in).

Admittedly watching the program last night, I was able to learn a little more about this diet. Basically, there are two sources of energy that the human body can use for fuel: carbohydrates and fat. I hear from a lot of people with diabetes who live and advocate for a Low Carb, High Fat (LHCF) diet. I completely respect that, and I’m sure that your body could be fuelled by fat. I myself have seen some merits in reducing “unnecessary” carbs and sugars in my diet, such as bread on my dinner plate and high sugar snacks such as muesli bars or breakfast cereals. But I do still eat carbs. I don’t feel that I could realistically cut them out completely and still be a happy man. But I completely respect those that do make that choice.

I just can’t fathom how Paleo Pete was quick to dismiss healthy, nutritious foods such as Dairy, Legumes and Grains. I also didn’t appreciate the way he referred to all of these carbohydrates as sugar, which is NOT true. And I can’t fathom how you could expect a human being to live without coffee!.

He went as far as suggesting that a diet of “everything in moderation” would cause type 2 diabetes among a string of other threatening diseases. Paleo Pete, you know absolutely NOTHING about diabetes. Don’t make an empty threat on the base of a common stigma. As my Twitter friend Lala brought to my attention, he even suggested that people who follow the Paleo diet are all exclusively healthy.

Paleo Pete is a chef. He is not qualified to provide nutrition or dietary advice. As one Twitter user commented, being around food doesn’t qualify you to provide nutritional advice. It would be like having a passenger fly an aeroplane. The Dieticians Association of Australia is qualified. LISTEN to them.

Paleo Pete also makes a lot of money off of Paleo. He has a series of cookbooks and other money making products that I don’t really care about. It’s a bit hard to take his claims of “speaking the truth” and “never feeling better” seriously.

As I said last week, Paleo Pete also works for the television network that aired this story. He is a judge on cooking show My Kitchen Rules. So is this story just a convenient case of networks keeping their talent happy?

At the end of his 10 week challenge, reporter Mike Willessee said that Paleo had opened his eyes to some of the his food choices. I feel exactly the same way, particularly after watching the similarly themed That Sugar Film earlier this year. What Mike Willessee neglected to mention was whether he’d stick with Paleo or not. I suspect his view would be similar to mine. There are some aspects that I’d take away from Paleo, but I won’t be rushing to clear out the cupboards and fridges of anything even remotely delicious.

I’m finally on Facebook, and I’d really appreciate it if you would like my page: facebook.com/type1writes.

A Letter To My 17 Year Old Classmates

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To My 17 Year Old Classmates,

While you were getting ready to buy your first bottle of alcohol, I was getting ready to buy my first blood glucose meter.

While you were nervous about getting past the bouncer, I was nervous about getting past my first insulin injection.

While you were applying for your proof of age card, I was applying for my National Diabetes Services Scheme card.

While you were busy planning your next wild night out, I was busy planning my next diabetes appointment.

While you were surviving from 4 cans of Red Bull a day, I was surviving from 4 insulin injections a day.

While you were in a state of extreme drunkenness, I was in a state of extreme ketoacidosis.

While you were in hospital getting your stomach pumped, I was in hospital getting insulin pumped.

While you were procrastinating on your uni assignments, I was desperately trying to get an extension from my hospital bed.

While you were out there partying, my blood sugar levels were out there having a party of their own.

While you were getting a 2am hangover feed from McDonald’s, I was getting a 2am hypo feed from my jelly bean tin.

While you felt wrecked after partying all night, I felt wrecked from dealing with diabetes all night.

While you were getting through a hangover, I was getting through a hypo.

While you were boasting about how many beers you’d had, I was boasting about how many good blood glucose readings I’d had.

While you were counting the number of jello shots you’d downed, I was counting the number of carbs that I’d downed.

While you had been abusing your body for a while, I was a fairly sensible kid.

While you were the one that deserved this more than me, I was the one that got diabetes instead.

And while I wouldn’t wish diabetes on you or anyone else, it would be nice to see you treat your healthy body with a little more respect.

Your classmate always,

Frank

A Rare Sighting of Diabetes In The Wild

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I have a love hate relationship with books. I used to be the most enthusiastic reader in my school days. I would wake up early in the morning just to squeeze in half an hour of reading before school. I would eagerly participate in the Premier’s Summer Reading Challenge, proudly logging hours and hours of reading. I would have competitions with my friends at school to see who could finish the new Harry Potter book first. I can even remember my year 3 teacher telling me off once because I was finishing the classroom books too quickly! And, I remember eagerly convincing my Mum and Dad to take me to buy the final A Series of Unfortunate Events book on the day it was released.

I’ve well and truly lost my passion for reading over the years, and I kind of feel guilty for it. My Mum and my sister laugh at me everytime they see me pick up a new book, knowing that I’ll set it down after a day and let it gather dust. Sure, I still read about the things that interest me. I collect a lot of reference books on technology, marketing, diabetes and diet. I read a lot of newsletters, magazines, news articles and diabetes blogs. But I guess I’ve lost that passion for reading something from start to finish. I’ve lost that motivation for sticking with something through. And I guess I just don’t see the point of reading books anymore.

I was book hunting on Saturday morning at the massive Save the Children Book Sale at UWA. My arms were filled with bargain books about – take a deep breath – diabetes. As I was standing there, leaning over those book tables crowded with people, a woman asked me where I had found the diabetes books I was holding. I pointed her over to the correct table, and she went on her way.

Normally, I would have ended it there. But that day, I felt hesitant. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to follow her. I wasn’t even sure if she wanted to talk to me. But then again, she already had spoken to me. I wanted to help her. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t pick up the books that I had found too medical or too technical to read. And so, I did the craziest thing and decided to chase after this rare sighting of diabetes in the wild.

As we stood there, talking books, we eventually went on to talk about our connections to diabetes. Turns out we both attended the same diabetes clinic, we both knew the same endocrinologist and we had both been diagnosed in the last couple of years. Pretty cool! I was a type 1, while she was a LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes of Adults), or slow onset type 1 diabetic. I was a typical young adult, while she was an older and less common example of type 1 diabetes. She also volunteered at the new Telethon Type 1 Diabetes Family Centre here in Perth, which was quite fascinating to hear about.

After having that conversation, I finally realised that what I am reading at the moment is a big deal. What I am reading does count for something, even if it’s not done from the first to the last page of a book. It doesn’t matter if I’m only reading a chapter out of a book, an article from a magazine or a post off of a blog. What counts is that I have an interest, even if it’s not an interest by choice. An interest that brought two complete strangers together on Saturday. An interest that offered me 5 minutes of great, and hopefully useful conversation. A conversation that helped me to feel a little more grounded and a little further away from the diabetes wild that I live in.

And that’s reason enough for me to keep reading.

If you’re in Perth and looking for some bargain books, the Save The Children Book Sale is on at UWA until Wednesday.

If My Diabetes Went Away Tomorrow

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My alarm went off at 6am, as it did every morning. I fought the urge to close my eyes once again, and switched on the lamp on my bedside table. My blood glucose meter was still sitting there, in the same place I have kept it for the last five years. I knew it was probably time to find a home for it somewhere, but I still hadn’t convinced myself that I didn’t need it. I still ripped open a test strip, from the same perfect angle that I’d mastered a long time ago. I still wouldn’t believe anything until my meter confirmed it. I stuck the strip in, pricked my finger, and let the blood flow to the test strip. 4.2.

I made my bed, got dressed and walked into the dining room. “Good morning Frankie,” Dad said to me, very enthusiastically for this time of morning. I walked over to the coffee machine and placed my half filled glass of hot milk under the nozzle. I noticed the sugar bowl sitting next to the machine as I stood there watching the dripping coffee infuse with the milk in my glass. I was tempted to spoon some into my glass. I knew I could, if I wanted to. But somehow I just couldn’t stop thinking about how hard it had been to cut out my sugar over the years. And how proud I was of myself for it.

There were leftover pancakes in the fridge that my sister had made yesterday. I was so tempted to grab the plate, heat them up in the microwave and drown them in maple syrup. But I couldn’t rid myself of the thought of my blood sugar levels spiking if I did. I closed the fridge, instead opting for my usual slice of Burgen toast and hard boiled egg.

It was 6.40am, and time to head off to work in the dark. I still carried my satchel with me to work every day, even though I knew that everything I needed would now fit into my pockets. But somehow, I just couldn’t convince myself that I didn’t need to carry my meter, insulin pen and jellybeans around anymore.

There was morning tea on the table at work. Iced donuts, Tim Tams, Choc Chip Cookies, Cupcakes, Potato Chips and Lollies. I’ve never been able to resist morning tea, and grabbed one of everything to eat. By the time it was over, I was feeling full. Guilty. And unhealthy. I went back out to work, but the thought of not having had any insulin yet was driving me insane. I couldn’t function properly. I was convinced my blood sugar levels must have skyrocketed by now. 18? 25? Ketones? An hour had passed, before it got to the point where I couldn’t sit there for a minute longer. I hurried off as fast as I could to the locker room. I seized my meter, tore open a test strip, furiously pricked my finger and began frantically squeezing for blood. After all that crap I’d eaten, I couldn’t believe the number 8.2 staring back at me.

I was back home and done with work for the day. And it occurred to me that I could go back to having junk food in the afternoons if I wanted to, just like I did back when I was in high school. I walked over to the cupboard, and stared longingly at the bag of Red Rock Deli Honey Soy Chicken potato chips in there. My favourite, none the less. I could eat the whole packet, if I felt like it. But I couldn’t rid myself of the thought of spoiling my appetite for dinner. I couldn’t stop thinking about my blood sugar levels spiking at bedtime because of all the fat in them. And I couldn’t stop thinking about how unhealthy I would feel for it afterwards. I closed the cupboard doors, and opted for my usual cuppa instead.

I could go back to my old habits now, if I really wanted to. I could go back to eating white bread. I could go back to eating junk food after school. And I could go back to eating as much as I liked at dinner time. But knowing what I know now, I couldn’t go back to that old life. Somehow, I’m proud of the diet that I’ve adopted because of diabetes. Somehow, I’m proud of the food habits that I’ve overcome because of diabetes. And somehow, I still won’t be able to rid myself from thinking about what the food I eat will do to my blood sugar levels.

Don’t get me wrong, I do look forward to being able to eat anything and everything that I want on occasion. But if I were to go back to my old life today, it would feel like living with diabetes for all those years was for nothing.