I really haven’t been in a great headspace these past couple of days. And I feel as though writing yesterday’s post didn’t help. Usually I write some of these posts to clear my mind, reflect and feel better, and yesterday’s post didn’t seem to do the trick for me. It seemed to make my headspace worse.
I really did not feel like going to work yesterday. I did not want to budge from my warm bed at 6am when it was 4 degrees outside. I did not feel like repeating the same, monotonous chores of the morning. And throughout the day, I just seemed to lack any sort of enthusiasm in talking to people. I struggled join in on our usual morning laughter at work. I lacked any sort of motivation to get my work done. And the day definitely dragged along.
I’ve been wanting to go for a blood test these last few days, which my endocrinologist routinely orders inbetween appointments to check my urine, kidney functions, hba1c, and all those other vitamins and nutrients. And on two of those mornings I was planning to go, I woke up low. Not terrible, scary low, but low enough that I had to have some marshmallows and ruin my fasted bloods. Not the best frame of mind to start the day with.
And these past few days, I just feel like seeing the negatives around me. Getting irritated because they are talking too loudly. Snapping when being asked if I’m ready to leave. And cursing (insert your own swear words here!) everytime that damn phone rings at work.
I think I’m just feeling a little burnt out. And in desperate need of a break. Funnily enough, a break is only a week away, and yet I can’t even seem to muster any sort of enthusiasm or excitement for it. That realisation is yet to hit me. Its yet to even motivate me forward.
But, there is a nice resolution to this story.
Last night, we went out with the family for dinner. Usually I love eating out. But last night, I really was not up for it. Not wanting to ruin the night, I sat there quietly and tried not to say anything. I guess the best thing about last night was being forced to take time away from all of these other things going on in my life. By the end of the night, I did start to join in on the conversation, a little. By the end of the night, I was feeling a little better.
There were also a few words of encouragement from the DOC on Twitter last night and again when I woke up this morning. The DOC is just amazing for this, especially considering I don’t even know any of these people. And this morning, I am finally able to crack a little smile because it is Friday. I will get that break I so desperately need in 8 hours time. And I will hopefully be able to regroup and get my head back into the right space.
Seems like something’s in the air with burn out lately! I admire those who are strong enough to say it like it is, which is exactly what you did in this post. We deal with a lot of physical and mental nuisances from diabetes, and sometimes we just need a break even if it is tough to pinpoint exactly why. I hope the weekend is refreshing for you, Frank!
Thankyou so much Ally. It means a lot to hear that 🙂
I’m a battle weary mum at the moment so I can only imagine how you feel. You sound like a strong guy who is surrounded by good people. Don’t be afraid to lean on them too! Have a relaxing weekend! Holidays starting here! Woohoo!
Thank you so much, I am very grateful for my family. Enjoy your well deserved holidays, jealous!
I had some good advice the other day, its hard to stay positive all the time and sometimes we need to have negative days to make the positives better. I feel your pain mate, I have been in the same headspace, hopefully u get some good blood test results to cheer you up.
Cheers Kyle, those are some wise words to remember. Have a good weekend 🙂