I’ve been thinking a lot about a promise that I made to my diabetes educator during my last visit. I promised that I would stop being so slack and start logging my insulin doses with my Freestyle Insulinx meter. “You need to be logging your insulin doses, otherwise it’s no better than any other meter” keeps ringing in my head.
The thing is, I’ve been spending considerably more time around my diabetes healthcare professionals since I began to ponder an insulin pump a few months ago. My team, and what they’ve asked of me, has been at the forefront of my mind in my day to day decision making a lot more often than usual.
In contrast, I’ve spent a great deal of time over the past year engaging in the Diabetes Online Community. With people just like me, who are living and dealing with diabetes on a day to day basis. I’ve found my voice, and become a lot more confident and empowered to make diabetes decisions on my own terms.
So when I’m around healthcare professionals who don’t necessarily have that element of actually living with diabetes, it really hits home in front of me. And I am suddenly reminded of something I haven’t engaged myself with in a very long time. Textbook diabetes.
My diabetes healthcare professionals are fantastic, and I know that they only have my best interests at heart. But I can only wonder whether they realise just how hard it is to do all of those little things on top of diabetes itself. I can only wonder whether they realise just how hard it is not to have any more than two hypos per week. To log every blood sugar level, and every insulin dose. To follow what’s written in a diabetes textbook, when you know that the textbook isn’t going to produce the results.
While I certainly don’t claim to be an expert, I know how to look after my diabetes better than anyone else. I live with, and manage it around the clock. It’s like a pet. I know how much to feed it. I know what upsets it. I know what makes it sick. I know what it likes, and what it dislikes. It might go against everything ever written in a diabetes textbook, but I know it works for me.
I promised that I would e-mail my educator the meter reports so that she could begin to work out insulin ratios for the pump, and help me to fine tune things. And I want to. I really want to. But the reality is that I haven’t. While everything has been going well lately, there’s still been a lot of fine tuning around my insulin requirements. That meter data doesn’t mirror textbook diabetes at the moment. And right now, I’m not comfortable trying to justify my intuition over textbook. Better luck next week, eh?