OzDOC

Eight.

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It’s hard to remember a life that didn’t revolve around constant pricks of the finger. Days where I could eat whatever I wanted without thinking about the carb counts and insulin injections are all but a distant memory. Simply being able to do whatever I wanted without thinking about the impact on my blood sugar. Or not feeling so “different” or isolated from the people around me because of the invisible and complex nature of my condition.

I spent my eighth diaversary listening to fellow Perth T1D Neil McLagan talk about his recent solo bike ride from Perth to Sydney with a few of my fellow Young Adult Diabetes Committee members. Apart from seeing Neil’s name and his cause (the Telethon Type 1 Diabetes Family Centre) pop up on social media a few times, I knew nothing about him. Admittedly, I just thought of him as ‘an athlete’ – something I would not even come close to qualifying as.

As we introduced ourselves, it was incredible to hear how many similarities we actually shared. From being diagnosed at the same age, to finding connection with others online and feelings of not being in a great place for quite some time. But the one thing that resonated most with me was the significance of finally meeting another person with type 1 several years after diagnosis.

Admittedly, meeting other people with diabetes is a daunting step, and something I would not have been willing to do all those years ago. But if I had to choose one thing that has been most beneficial for me in eight years of living with diabetes, it would have to be my peers.

Twitter. Facebook. The OzDOC community. My fellow Aussie diabetes bloggers, who feel like distant family members every time I embrace them when we are brought together. The Young Adult Diabetes Committee and our thread of Facebook messages that are a goldmine of daily support and laughter.

My peers, both near and far, remind me that I am not alone in this and are what lift me up in my daily self management efforts.

As I listened to Neil recount his enthralling story of survival during his bike ride across Australia, I wasn’t even thinking about how he was managing his diabetes. Diabetes wasn’t the focus of his story, but rather something that just played along in the background.

After eight years of life with type 1 diabetes, I’ve realised that my condition is not something that I need to feel overly conscious of or burdened by.

Don’t get me wrong, managing diabetes is no easy feat.

But like Neil’s epic journey, type 1 diabetes has simply become something that plays out alongside me as I go about living my life.

You can check out more highlights from Neil’s journey on his Facebook page here.

Deeper than Diabetes

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Yesterday was a glorious day. The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing, and I had finally found success with my new afternoon basal rate which has been a real work in progress. We’ve been without a patio at home up until Monday, while a much needed new one has been in the process of being built. Inbetween miserable weather and construction, I’ve sorely missed afternoon coffees in the fresh air and sunshine after work. So when yesterday’s OzDOC chat rolled around, I made myself a coffee, grabbed my Macbook and took a seat outside.

As I scrolled through the OzDOC feed on Twitter, it looked like it would be a quiet night. Some of our regular contributors thoughtfully popped in and out to make their apologies. I was fully prepared to take a raincheck on the chat for this week, rather than endure a slow moving chat with few participants.

But conversation continued to flow in a more casual format.

Our moderator, Kim, expressed that she was separated from her daughter on her birthday, and the #dlove flowed.

I mused that I had a damp cloth draped round my wickedly sunburnt arm, and I received some funny sunburn stories from others in return.

Bri from the UK jumped in to tell us that she was starting out on an insulin pump on Thursday, and all I wanted to do was offer her the encouragement I knew she would need as she faces a steep, but worthwhile learning curve.

I was dying to know whether Kim was up to date with Australian Survivor. She was, but she is rooting for Matt, the contestant I dislike the most! I then learned that Matt was an ambassador for a diabetes charity, followed up with a Tweet from the man himself!

Andy popped in with a snazzy new profile pic, and I tweeted hello to Melinda who I haven’t chatted with in a couple of weeks.

Ashley and Glen, both of whom were multi tasking last night, stuck around during much of the conversation.

Bec popped in briefly, and I reminded her of the two places in Melbourne she absolutely had to squeeze into her short trip.

It was just a simple relaxed vibe, that I think was much needed by the group as a whole.

OzDOC is the one diabetes support “group” that I identify with on the internet. Some people I only know through our interactions online. Others I have been fortunate enough to meet in real life. And there are a few who I have only recently promised coffees with should I ever visit their cities. Nevertheless, they truly do feel like friends. I feel a strong sense of camraderie and spirit during our chats on Twitter every Tuesday night.

And even though last night’s chat was not about diabetes, the great OzDOC spirit that I have come to know and love, continued to flow. Even though we are connected by diabetes, it’s nice to be reminded that our connections run deeper than just diabetes alone.

Watching the last of the afternoon light fade and feeling the wind begin to chill with the relaxed vibe of OzDOC yesterday was absolute bliss. As I went inside to a slow cooked beef casserole for dinner, I felt content.

Finding My Tribe

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People don’t see me at 2.30am in the morning, shivering, and shoving skittles down my throat. They don’t see me on a restless night, rage bolussing stubborn highs that refuse to go down. Or the finger pricks I perform every time I walk out of the room.

People don’t see the insulin pump that I pull out of my pocket underneath the table. They don’t see the loads of discarded test strips and insertion devices underneath the lid of my rubbish bin.

People don’t see the guilt I feel every time I put a donut or a piece of chocolate into my mouth. They don’t see how tied down I feel every time I walk out of the house, with a jacket or satchel stuffed full of diabetes crap. Or the failure I feel at the bruises and scars that are hidden underneath my shirt.

People don’t see the exhaustion I feel, every time the alarm clock goes off to check my glucose in the middle of the night. They don’t see the burnout I feel behind every smile, and every single ‘good morning’ that bounces off my face.

People don’t see the rollercoaster of emotions that flood through my body when the door to my room is closed. They don’t see the fear I feel, every time this condition takes an unpredictable turn. Or the judgement I place on myself, every time I go quiet.

You don’t see diabetes, when you look at a person like me. You see normal. I daresay you even see healthy. You see me drinking coffee and eating donuts, just like everyone else. You don’t see all of the tasks that managing this condition entails. You don’t see the isolation I feel, living with a condition that you need to experience to fully understand (and trust me, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone).

For me, a big part of what was missing from my own diabetes equation for the first four years was peer support. Nothing really does beat the feeling of hearing someone else say the words “me too.” “I get it.” Or “I hear you.” Nothing beats the anticipation I feel, every time I refresh my diabetes feed reader. Nothing beats the enthusiasm I feel during OzDOC chats every Tuesday night. Nothing beats the sense of community I feel every time I am glued to Twitter, that makes me feel far less alone with my condition. Nothing beats being able to lean on my family for support when I need it, something that I simply wasn’t able to do after my diagnosis.

There’s an old saying that goes, “find your tribe and love them hard.”

I’ve definitely found mine, and they certainly won’t be going away anytime soon.

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My #OzDOC Story

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When I first started this blog a few months ago, I felt rather lost. I’d had Twitter for some time, although I thought it was absolutely stupid. I didn’t really see the point of following people I didn’t know. I felt so out of place trying to find diabetes stuff to tweet, which at the time didn’t sound even remotely interesting. And I felt like a desperate idiot tweeting my blog posts with every popular hashtag that I could think of.

Then one day, I stumbled upon somebody’s retweet from this Twitter account called the Oz Diabetes Online Community. It’s a Twitter chat for people with or affected by diabetes here in Australia. For one hour every Tuesday night, we introduce ourselves and answer a series of questions around a set topic of the week. We’ve talked about things like germs, exercise, team work, a cure and National Diabetes Week, to name a few. The best part about it is that anyone can see the chat just by typing #OzDOC into your Twitter search bar, and you don’t have to join in until you are ready.

Ever since then, OzDOC has been the place to be on a Tuesday night. OzDOC really got me started in the Twitterverse and the Diabetes Online Community, and helped me to feel less like a stranger. They are an amazing, friendly, welcoming, supportive and inspirational group of people. They were among the first of the #DOC friends that I made. Although I don’t know any of them in real life, they certainly have come to feel a little like family. And I don’t think I’ve missed a single chat since I first found it.

I feel extremely empowered having a space to share my experiences in managing diabetes, and I take a lot of inspiration from the other wonderful people there too. I love that we can all have a good laugh at ourselves, not to mention our fierce comptition for the wittiest tweet of the night. Having a wonderful community like OzDOC helps me to feel a little less alone with my diabetes. And while I love that the Diabetes Online Community connects me with people from all over the world, OzDOC helps me to feel a little more at home with my diabetes here in Australia.

Have a think about what you share about your diabetes with the people in your life, and what you choose to keep to yourself. Then join in by following #OzDOC on Twitter from 8.30pm Tonight AEST (GMT+10). Hope to see you there! (I’m guest co-moderating this week).

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