Learning

“I never get it wrong. I just learn for next time.”

If there’s one quote that truly resonates with me in the way I manage my diabetes, Grumpy Pumper summed it up for me perfectly in a tweet that surfaced this weekend from the Sports and Exercise Weekend he was attending in the UK.

The biggest piece of diabetes wisdom that I often impart is that time and experience is my biggest asset in living with diabetes. Because each and every one of those valuable hours spent managing my diabetes have taught me something. Like only bolusing for 60% of the carb count on my banana. Or living to regret every hypo that I’ve treated with something nicer than skittles or glucose tabs. Or remembering to bring a spare of everything with me.

I am a bit of a perfectionist in the way I manage my diabetes. I meticulously monitor my basal rates, count my carbohydrates, time my insulin to the kind of food I’m eating and give deep thought to the physical activity I undertake each day. It’s no simple equation, by any means.

My biggest downfall is that I don’t handle it very well when things don’t go to plan. I can often be found swearing out loud in front of my meter, verbally expressing my frustrations.

Yesterday was one of those days, as I found myself low twice after my breakfast and wondering how today had been any different to my other mornings of late.

As I sat in my desk chair at work, recalling the actions I’d taken that morning, two particular things came to mind. The first being correcting a blood sugar of 7.1 upon waking up, ignoring the insulin I already had on board from an earlier correction (and perhaps if I’d washed my sweaty bed hands prior to checking, the number may have been different). The second being the ginormous orange I added to this morning’s brekky. As I searched through my Calorie King app, I learned that oranges had 5.5% carb content, rather than the 8% I had in my head.

Living with diabetes is a constant learning process. I still surprise myself at how much I continue to learn after a good two and a half years of more diligently managing blood sugars. I wonder if I will ever live to see the day where I’ve learned everything that there is to learn.

What I do know, however, is that I don’t feel so guilty for my blunders when I can identify reasons for them.