For the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a bit of a twitch in the bottom corner of my right eye. Like a rapid, vibrating sensation that comes and goes. And every time that it happens, I have the sudden urge to rub my eyes to try and make it stop. And every time that it happens, it annoys the hell out of me.
I didn’t want to take it too seriously because I’ve been on holidays over the last two weeks. But everytime a bad reading came up, I would feel guilty. And everytime I ate more than I should have, those horrible thoughts of complications would plague me. Crazy theories would run through my head at night. What if the blood and oxygen was struggling to get through? What if, somehow, I’d damaged one of the blood vessels in my eyes?
Yesterday I said I want to make more of an effort with my diabetes. That I want to take things more seriously than I’m currently doing. And after writing that post, I made an appointment to see the optometrist during my lunch break today. It’s been well over a year since I last got my eyes checked, and this twitch seemed like the perfect opportunity to shoot two birds with one stone.
I felt so serious, and so unenthusiastic as I was called in and sat down in that chair. I almost felt like I was in a job interview, justifying my reasons for being there.
“I’m here for two reasons today. The first one is that I have type 1 diabetes, and I want to have the back of my eyes checked. The second one is that I have a bit of a twitch in the corner of this eye, and I wanted you to have a look at it.”
He dismissed the twitch straight away, telling me that heaps of people get it. It’s triggered by stress, and that getting a good night’s sleep and cutting back on stimulants will help. And considering that I’ve practically been living on coffee during my holiday, this made complete sense. I’ve still been craving those coffees I’ve been having on my holidays since I came home. My morning espresso at the corner downstairs. The cappuccino with my big breakfast. And my afternoon coffee and cake at my favourite pasticceria in Sydney, Via Del Corso.
I think I’m getting a bit carried away…
The digital retinal scan of my eyes looked fine. He also told me that my eyesight hadn’t deteriorated over the last 12 months, which would have been a sign of badly managed blood sugar levels.
To be honest, I was a bit bothered that he didn’t seem to take my concerns as seriously as I did. He gave me the impression that I didn’t need to be there, considering that I’d had an eye check last year.
“I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’d rather be safe than sorry, because I hear all these horror stories about diabetes and complications…”
I didn’t feel like I’d finished my sentence, but I trailed off and couldn’t get anymore words out. Maybe he didn’t fully understand the seriousness of diabetes. Maybe he didn’t get what complications were. Maybe in his eyes, it was all for nothing.
But in my eyes, I’d dismissed a major concern on my mind. In my eyes, I’d taken things more seriously than I normally would have. And in my eyes, it was better to be sure. I was able to walk out of there today feeling a little less heavy, and that was well worth the effort.
And those good results are definitely a start towards doing more for my diabetes.