Loosening the Reins.

As I opened up my Dexcom Clarity app last night, I wasn’t all too surprised at what I saw.

My time in range wasn’t too shabby, but it was down on prior periods. The variability in my blood glucose readings was considerably larger than what I would usually see. My average blood sugar was sitting at the upper end of my own target range.

Overall, it wasn’t too shabby. But I also knew that it didn’t reflect my best effort.

I know that I haven’t been as diligent as I’d like with pre bolusing insulin before I eat. Case in point yesterday, when I had a muffin and an iced latte on top of a blood sugar level of 12. (It’s been a loooong week). I’ve tolerated longer blocks of time where my blood glucose levels have been flatlining outside of my target range, and I’m not too bothered by it. And I’ve found myself suspending my pump increasingly, because I just can’t bring myself to treat a low (especially after I’ve brushed my teeth).

I’ve made some very lazy changes – like increasing my basal rate to combat the insulin resistance that has crept up in recent weeks. But I’m reluctant to put any effort into making more permanent changes – like revising basal rates of ratios – because I know there are reasons behind what’s happening. Diabetes, or my diabetes at least, is definitely cyclical. I know at some point things will probably go back to where they were.

I’ve definitely loosened the reins, within reason, when it comes to my diabetes over the last several weeks. Quite honestly, it’s freed up mental energy and it’s definitely helped me to realise increased focus in other aspects of my life. Namely, my studies and my mental wellbeing. I also know that this wouldn’t be possible without my own tools of the trade, namely my t:slim pump and Dexcom CGM, which just seamlessly integrate into my own life without being a burden.

I don’t particularly feel like I see enough stories of imperfection when I look online. Sometimes, and in some corners of the internet, it definitely feels like everyone is just perfect and healthy and doesn’t have a crease in their shirt.

So, I’m just going to continue with this somewhat ‘lazy’ but acceptable approach to my diabetes for the time being, because sometimes there’s more to my own self worth than numbers alone.


  1. Richard Connelly

    Hi Frank,
    We all struggle as best we can with the competing demands of blood sugar control and ‘life’. Hang in there.
    My only encouragement is for you to go Keto. Only way to go with blood sugar control. Funnily enough: when you don’t eat sugars, they don’t go up, or down!
    Ever since I’ve been on a keto diet my insulin use has dropped by 30%, my weight by 6%, my HbAic by 1.0 and my hypos by 95%.
    BSL control is now much more stable. I just cruise through each day, and only eat when hungry and not dictated to by BSL control.

    I’m not a salesperson, but have become a bit of a keto-evangilist since starting.

    Best of luck.


  2. I know exactly how you feel and I think its good to accept where you are. As you know I am no longer keto and my blood sugars are better than ever. I actually have you to thank for that in a simple elevator ride in Sydney when you mentioned I should chat with Drew about how food affects my levels. At the time I didn’t know how he could help me. Two years later we meet once a month and every session blows me away. I am getting braver and braver with dosing, my fear of food is gone and I am working my way up to meeting you in Perth one day for a cannoli 🙂 Please keep sharing how you are managing I for one am still your biggest fan!

  3. Diabetes is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Which means all parts of you have to stay in it to be successful. I suggest your recent experience will keep you in the race to the end.

  4. Raymond Wee

    Greetings from Singapore and thank you so much for your sharing!

    While I am not diabetic myself, I find myself suddenly in a position of having to provide care for my elderly father with Type 2 diabetes earlier this year just before the COVID-19 craziness and associated lockdowns. Saying that it had been an adventure is putting it mildly, especially when my dad who has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment since (and had become a lot more physically feeble as well) gets hypoglycemia episodes.

    As a caregiver, I find your writing comforting to read with lots of useful and interesting information. I wished I had discovered it earlier so that I could have provided better care for my dad right from the start.

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