I miss you.
To be completely honest, when I sit down to write, I just haven’t felt overly compelled to do so. I also feel like nothing I write here could even remotely compare to what some of you are going through interstate, and in other parts of the world.
I’ve been watching those all important numbers every day, particularly those affecting my friends in Victoria and NSW. Watching the health response to outbreaks on the East Coast gives me hope that there is a way forward and that we can live safely with this virus. I do feel like more of a health advocate than a diabetes one these days, calling out sick people who aren’t staying at home and judging gatherings where social distancing is not being upheld.
I’m extremely grateful for the freedoms we have here in Western Australia, where we have now surpassed six months since our last locally acquired case. Over these past couple of months, I’ve really thrown myself into looking after myself and maintaining somewhat of a healthy work/study/life balance.
I’ve approached uni in a completely different way this semester. I made the difficult decision to cut my winter break short and start a week early, and have been running a week ahead of schedule. It’s been a massive boost to my mindset, and at the end of each week I’ve been mentally praising my efforts. With an extra week up my sleeve should I need it, I have felt far less pressured.
I’ve been running every 2-3 days since July. It’s nothing particularly impressive. I run the same course, and so far I don’t feel as though I’ve built up any distance, but it still feels good nonetheless. Besides, slow and steady wins the race.
I’m also slowly making my way through TV shows that I’ve fallen behind on in recent years, and that’s been quite fun. I’ve also made my way to the beach more times in the last few months than I have in any other year.
I also hurt my wrist a few weeks ago, and quite honestly I think it was a blessing in disguise. It was a reminder that I come first, and that work and uni will still be there on the other side. Quite honestly, the time I was off resting it was the most relaxing week and a half I’d had in a while. Even if the steroids injected into my wrist wreaked havoc on my blood sugars.
Speaking of, my diabetes has been in what I’d best describe as a semi-autopilot mode. My time in range is decent, but it certainly does not reflect my best effort. There’s probably more variability in my numbers than I’d like. My insulin sensitivity has been all over the place in recent weeks, too. I find myself suspending my pump far too often because I can’t bring myself to eat glucose tabs.
I’m okay with all of that. I’ve adapted as needed. I’ll survive. I know those numbers don’t reflect my worth as a person.
I know that while I can’t control the numbers, or what fates our leaders decide for us, I can control what I do to take care of myself.