As I was sitting in bed the other night, surrounded by the amazing speakers on my new MacBook Pro, my blood sugar began to dip. Treading cautiously, I treated with small amounts. A square of coconut slice from the kitchen bench. A bit of the pink icing that I’d cautiously left to one side. Then a glucose tab.
By the time I was ready for bed, my CGM was showing 3.5 and a finger prick was 4.0. ‘I could have covered it with a juicebox,’ I thought to myself as I could feel my very unclean mouth. There was just shy of 1 unit of insulin on board. My head was telling me I only needed one more glucose tab, but after the evening’s trend I played it safe and ate two.
Unsurprisingly, around an hour later, my CGM began alarming me. As I picked up my phone and stared at my graph (which I am so grateful to have), I saw a trend upwards that had begun from the minute my head had hit the pillow. I corrected, and fell asleep again.
2 hours later, I was alerted and woken once again by my CGM. It was a little before 2am – and I was still high. I mentally begin to retrace every decision I’d made earlier that evening in the lead up to bed. Then I backtracked to the past couple of nights, and weeks. I felt frustration. That frustration eventually turned to guilt. Finally, I began doubting how well I was actually taking care of myself.
I was wide awake now, and try as I might I just couldn’t get back to sleep.
Now here’s the thing. If this was happening during the day, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. This afternoon, I was riding at the 12-13 mark for well over 2 hours. I corrected, and thought nothing more of it. It’s rare that I do question how well I’m taking care of myself.
But in the middle of the night, when it’s dead silent and there’s nothing else other than diabetes to occupy my mind? These highs keep me up well past 2am, to the point that my frustration won’t let me get back to sleep.
When I can’t get back to sleep, I’ll grab a glass of water and navigate to the couch. TV, particularly something funny, quickly takes my mind away from it all. If I’m lucky, it might just put me back to sleep.