Coping.

I’m not too sure what the right word is, but I’m feeling somewhat out of sync right now.

This has felt like the longest semester of uni ever. Which isn’t logical, given that not a great deal has changed for me as a fully online student (except for being ignored even more than we were prior to campus shutdowns…).

Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent the better part of April powering through assignments, because I’m not the kind of person who does well at doing a little bit at a time. More logically, it’s probably due to how much has changed in the world around me over such a short space of time.

I used to religiously do set changes twice a week – at 9am on Sunday mornings and at 4pm on Wednesday afternoons. Nowadays, I find myself consciously putting them off until I remember right before bed. Or, the next morning.

My blood sugars feel like a bit of disorganised chaos. Overall, they’re just doing lots of unexpected things that are requiring a lot more input from me than normal. Prime example being a typical rise at around bedtime, a correction and then a high alert at around 3am when it’s risen beyond my high threshold again. I can’t be bothered basal testing and ‘resetting’ right now. Even though I really want to.

My Dexcom sensor is fraying at the edges. I know I need to tape it down, but I don’t want to spare a moment to cut a patch from my Opsite Flexfix roll. Instead, I’m resorting to keeping my left arm away from the shower hose so that my sensor stays dry until I finally decide to tape it down.

I can’t say that I miss Summer. But I do miss the early mornings and light streaming in from behind the blinds at 6am. It’s incredibly hard to wake up in the dark. I do miss being able to sit outside in front of my laptop working through assignments in the evenings. Last night, I had to concede that I could no longer see my textbook properly by 5.30. Weekdays feel incredibly short.

I haven’t been great at organising my meals of late, either. It’s been leftovers to the rescue this week, including homemade scrolls for morning tea and pizza from Marco’s for lunch on Tuesday. While I’d happily eat scrolls and pizza for the rest of my life, I am feeling a bit of guilt for not having anything more nutritious during the day.

I also don’t think I can take one more patronising ad from privileged people who have no idea what we are going through, telling me that we’ll get through this.

The brighter news is that my assignments have been submitted for the semester, my weekends are much free-er and upping my basal rates by 20% have largely kept the blood sugars at bay. Superstore is keeping me pretty entertained right now (after years of working in retail, where has this show been all of my life?) The weather forecast for the weekend is looking pretty good, too.

While my day to day hasn’t been greatly impacted by Coronavirus, I think the rapid changes over the past weeks while continuing to push through with life, are definitely catching up with me in other ways.

So I guess, in a nutshell, this best describes how I’m coping right now.

4 Comments

  1. Sorry to hear you’re feeling rather out of sorts at the moment, if its of any help, its not just you 🙂 As those of you live with Type 1 and having a pump etc, you have to do all of the testing, checking, keeping a good food routine going all of the time and its waring. So dont feel bad, give yourself a break, well a short one.

  2. Michele dN

    I think this pandemic probably has a bit to do with feeling out of sorts. I know I have found myself getting more easily frustrated and less tolerant of those less adept at coping, rather than showing compassion, hopefully I haven’t offended any one. I know my son whom is a student of pure mathematics and engineering, is finding the restrictions difficult and really missing the social side of uni. You are so right about the condescending advice from the privileged; Harry and Murky Meg, Ugh!. Still you may be one of those that suffer with seasonal mood variation, I know I do. Give the Vitamin D and Melatonin a try. Hope things pick up soon; just remember the only thing that is permanent is change.

  3. Elinor Quarterly

    As an already remote learning uni student working on my Masters, I hear you about being ignored even more than usual! Good for you for keeping up with your course work. I’m suffering from lack of motivation to do anything which is so not like me and making life very difficult. As a Mum to a Type 1 teen, I’m finding it difficult to keep up with keeping an eye on his diabetes management. I think maybe it is the monotony of it all. Every day is the same. It’s comforting to hear of others suffering from much the same thing. As my Mum would say “Chin up and keep going”.

    • HI Elinor, I think you’re right in the “chin up and keep going mentally”. And you’re so right every day is the same or seems to be, feel so lucky to have a garden where we live but even so, if only my plants would grow that would make it a different type of day.

Leave a Reply