I’m not too sure what the right word is, but I’m feeling somewhat out of sync right now.
This has felt like the longest semester of uni ever. Which isn’t logical, given that not a great deal has changed for me as a fully online student (except for being ignored even more than we were prior to campus shutdowns…).
Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent the better part of April powering through assignments, because I’m not the kind of person who does well at doing a little bit at a time. More logically, it’s probably due to how much has changed in the world around me over such a short space of time.
I used to religiously do set changes twice a week – at 9am on Sunday mornings and at 4pm on Wednesday afternoons. Nowadays, I find myself consciously putting them off until I remember right before bed. Or, the next morning.
My blood sugars feel like a bit of disorganised chaos. Overall, they’re just doing lots of unexpected things that are requiring a lot more input from me than normal. Prime example being a typical rise at around bedtime, a correction and then a high alert at around 3am when it’s risen beyond my high threshold again. I can’t be bothered basal testing and ‘resetting’ right now. Even though I really want to.
My Dexcom sensor is fraying at the edges. I know I need to tape it down, but I don’t want to spare a moment to cut a patch from my Opsite Flexfix roll. Instead, I’m resorting to keeping my left arm away from the shower hose so that my sensor stays dry until I finally decide to tape it down.
I can’t say that I miss Summer. But I do miss the early mornings and light streaming in from behind the blinds at 6am. It’s incredibly hard to wake up in the dark. I do miss being able to sit outside in front of my laptop working through assignments in the evenings. Last night, I had to concede that I could no longer see my textbook properly by 5.30. Weekdays feel incredibly short.
I haven’t been great at organising my meals of late, either. It’s been leftovers to the rescue this week, including homemade scrolls for morning tea and pizza from Marco’s for lunch on Tuesday. While I’d happily eat scrolls and pizza for the rest of my life, I am feeling a bit of guilt for not having anything more nutritious during the day.
I also don’t think I can take one more patronising ad from privileged people who have no idea what we are going through, telling me that we’ll get through this.
The brighter news is that my assignments have been submitted for the semester, my weekends are much free-er and upping my basal rates by 20% have largely kept the blood sugars at bay. Superstore is keeping me pretty entertained right now (after years of working in retail, where has this show been all of my life?) The weather forecast for the weekend is looking pretty good, too.
While my day to day hasn’t been greatly impacted by Coronavirus, I think the rapid changes over the past weeks while continuing to push through with life, are definitely catching up with me in other ways.
So I guess, in a nutshell, this best describes how I’m coping right now.