As I mentioned earlier this week, I’ve been reflecting on my own diabetes quite a lot of late. Now that the dust is starting to settle on my transition to an insulin pump, I feel like there are no more corners for me to turn if I cannot make this work for me. When I made the decision to get the insulin pump earlier this year, part of my brain convinced myself that this would be the answer to getting diabetes down pat. Now that the dust has settled, I feel like I have no more excuses not to be managing my diabetes to the best of my ability.
Don’t get me wrong, I am making some promising inroads with the pump. Yet I often find myself wondering what a future with diabetes holds in store for me.
I wonder if there will ever be a cure for diabetes. Technology is amazing. I hear of incredible research breakthroughs every week. I’ve seen pictures of an artificial pancreas that could be on the market well before the end of this decade recently. I shared some incredible T1D research involving skin cells only days ago on my Facebook page here. I watch the Open Artificial Pancreas System (APS) movement driven by individuals who have hacked their insulin pumps and Continuous Glucose Monitors to communicate with each other. Yet I wonder if that cure, or that breakthrough, or that technology, will ever make its way to the average joe like me.
At work, we always joke about winning the lotto. We often play together when it jackpots, and every time it does we talk about buying suitcases and booking a trip to Las Vegas straight away. So many people my age seem to prioritise holidays, travel and leisure. Sure, I love a holiday as much as the person next to me. But I guess I’m the kind of person who leans more towards having a sense of security in life before I’m ready to jump on board a plane. Diabetes will do that to you…
I fantasise about the doctor, the dietician, the diabetes educator, chef and personal trainer that I would hire specifically for me if I won the lotto. I fantasise about paying the exorbitant costs of getting the uber cool touch screen t-slim insulin pump to Australia just for me. I fantasise about the smartphone-integrated insulin pump or glucose meter that I would pay to have manufactured specifically for me.
As I watched Andy open a Christmas in July themed OzDOC chat on Tuesday with our “grown up” diabetes Christmas wish, I didn’t have to think about my answer at all. I wonder if I will ever feel a complete sense of having this condition under control.
Photo credit: Beta Bionics and Tandem Diabetes.
I think because of diabetes I would prioritise the travel, holidays and leisure. Before Diabetes I would have wanted the safety net. I’m with you on wondering if we’ll ever feel a complete sense of control, and in the dark recesses of my mind I think that I’ve determined that I better live it up while I can because I have no idea if I’ll ever get control. I used to feel in control, but the longer I have diabetes, the less I feel like I can control it.
Its funny how we all react differently to the influence of diabetes in our lives.