End Of Year Exhaustion

I was feeling absolutely exhausted before Christmas. It was a real struggle to do anything else other than silencing the awful bleh bleh bleh sound of my alarm that startles me awake at 5.50am in the morning. I so desperately wanted to close my eyes and fall back asleep. I didn’t feel human as I was trying to function in the morning. Getting dressed, making coffee, getting breakfast ready and preparing not to take any lunch to work. I was tired of the monotony of work, and each passing day showed no reprieve on our workload.

My exhaustion really shows. I was exhaling loudly. I was groaning. I was complaining (a lot). I was grumpy. I don’t think I was the best person to be around. “Frank, that’s the third day you’ve bought your lunch this week!” One of my work mates remarked in the lunch room.

For the past couple of years, I have felt this exhaustion. Every year, towards the end of the year, it happens without fail. Is it Christmas? Am I overworking myself? Am I not looking after myself well enough? Am I mentally giving up on my diabetes, and thinking of that “reset” button that comes with January? Probably. But, I believe that diabetes is a big culprit of this exhaustion in it’s own.

If I didn’t have diabetes, I reckon I could have just switched off the devices for 12 hours. I could have spent some time outdoors. I could have had an early night. I could have crashed in front of a good TV show, or read a book, and my exhaustion would have subsided.

But in the midst of all of this exhaustion, I still have my diabetes to manage. Finger pricks, carb counting, insulin injections, correcting highs, treating lows, back tracking, anticipating, and setting the alarm for a middle of the night check. Even when I’m ready to throw in the towel, diabetes doesn’t stop.

It wasn’t until I heard my teammates talking about leave a few weeks ago that I decided I needed a break. I can’t put my diabetes on hold, but I can certainly put other things on the back burner in order to make it easier to manage.

I was able to have some time off work inbetween Christmas and New Year, and I regret not scheduling it sooner. It was great to be able to hit the pause button and take each day as it comes, something you can’t exactly do when you’re travelling.

Sadly, it had to come to an end sometime. But silencing that morning alarm, and getting out of bed yesterday morning was the easiest it had been in weeks. I finally feel refreshed, and ready to hit that reset button that comes with a new year.

Diabetes, I’m ready for you in 2016. Hit me with your best shot.

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