To My Dear Friend Mr. Hypo,
I’ve been in denial about you. For a very, very long time, I’ve been pretending that you don’t exist. I’ve done a pretty good job of hiding the way you make me feel. In fact, the people around me wouldn’t even know that you are there.
I am writing to say that you are one of my least favourite things about diabetes.
You have a knack of waking me up in the middle of the night.
You are the reason I swear.
You are the reason my family and friends see me in a bad mood.
You leave me feeling ashamed.
You leave me feeling guilty.
You leave me feeling demoralised.
You make me feel about this big.
And you know exactly how to make a grown man cry.
For a long time, I’ve struggled to admit that you are one of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome. Because saying that you have gotten the better of me is like admitting defeat. And admitting that I am not controlling you as well as I should be.
Locking you away two weeks ago was one of the best things I ever did. During these past two weeks, I’ve had some of my best nights sleep all year. During the past two weeks, I’ve rediscovered what it’s like not to be bothered even once between the hours of 10pm and 6am. And during the past two weeks, I’ve woken up feeling on top of the world.
Every morning when I test my blood sugar levels, I know exactly how you feel every time you come to visit. I raise my arm in victory, and quietly exclaim “yes!” I am so pleased that you have not caused a single wave in my blood sugar levels for 8 whole hours straight. And I am so pleased at the thought of those perfect blood sugar levels for 8 whole hours straight. There is no better way to start my day.
I think I have finally found the key that will keep you locked away for a very, very long time. I’ve hung it up on a hook labelled ‘Patience.’ With ‘Patience,’ I am able to resist the temptation of checking my blood sugar levels straight after dinner. With ‘Patience,’ I am able to resist the temptation to over correct my blood sugar levels to get them where I want them to be now. And with ‘Patience,’ I have finally been able to rediscover myself away from you.
And that person is someone I look forward to getting to know.
With no regards,
Haha. Love it Frank. I wish I could lock mine away. One day. Thanks for sharing!
My Perfect Week | Type 1 Writes
[…] In yesterday’s letter to my friend Mr. Hypo, I wrote about patience being the key to locking away those night time hypos. Over the past few months, I’ve well and truly been doing more harm than good to myself. I’ve become obsessive compulsive over my blood sugar levels. I’d be checking them shortly after dinner, and then trying to correct them to where I think they should be. Only to end up hypo a few hours later when I’m in bed. Only to land myself in a pit of misery, frustration and self loathing. […]