Diabetes Educator

Thursday Night, Diabetes Style

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When I last visited my diabetes educator in February, I brought my meter along in order to show her my numbers. I was stepping outside of my comfort zone. I was essentially exposing myself, and all of my highs and my lows. I wouldn’t be able to choose what I would share with her. I wouldn’t be able to summarise. It was a big step for me, but one that I felt ready to do.

Unfortunately, the focus seemed to be more on what I hadn’t done – logging my insulin doses into the meter. I apologised, and promised that I would send through two weeks worth of meter reports before my pump day, so that she would be able to work out insulin ratios and settings.

It was a simple task, yet one that has been weighing heavily on my mind for weeks.

Every time I have attempted to make a start, something gets in the way. In March, I got sick and was rage bolussing stubborn highs like crazy. A week later, Easter rolled around and I was eating more than I should have. I took some holidays, and the numbers didn’t reflect my regular routine. But most of the time, I’ve just been telling myself that the numbers aren’t perfect enough to send through.

I can probably guess what a healthcare professional might think. Lazy, slack, non-compliant (insert your favourite word here). But when diabetes already takes up so much of my time and energy, a simple task like stopping to log my insulin doses is a big deal. It’s hard to carry the same meter around with me, rather than rely on the others that are stashed in convenient places. It’s hard to stop and punch in the insulin dose, when all I really want to do is sit down and eat.

But I knew that I was going to honour my promise. I knew that I wasn’t going to lie.

Come Thursday night, I generated 14 days worth of Insulinx meter data on my computer and printed it out. I took a seat at my desk for what would be somewhat of a long night.

I went backwards, day by day, reflecting on the past two weeks of my diabetes life. Recalling exactly where I was, and what I was doing on that particular day. Thinking about what I’d had for dinner that night. Remembering the circumstances surrounding that stupid low, that stubborn high, or that victorious overnight result. It took me a few hours. It was a little confronting, staring at those numbers on paper and being reminded of where I had gone wrong.

I attached a note to my meter reports, apologising to my diabetes educator for not directly logging the insulin doses into the meter. I explained that I had thoroughly gone through my last two weeks, and provided what I believe to be a very comprehensive overview. I wrote notes about my typical day. A work day, where I was on my feet, moving around and lifting things. Night times, where I was often chasing post bedtime highs from things like Pasta, Fat and Protein foods. Insulin to carb ratios, correction ratios and Lantus doses.

I carefully folded my paperwork, placed it into an envelope and stuck an express stamp onto it.

As I placed my letter into the Post Box on Friday afternoon, that big weight that had been sitting on my shoulders for weeks was finally gone.

Thanks, Gwen

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My diabetes educator, Gwen, was a fantastic support system for me in the initial months following my diagnosis. She was a very direct person, and had one of those strong voices that still rings clearly in my head today (even though I have not seen her in several months). She reminds me of one of those teachers who would challenge you by answering a question with another question and often leaving me stumped for a response. And although I absolutely hated it at the time, I know that she was only trying to help me to think for myself and solve the problem on my own. As Gwen would put it, her job was to teach me to think like a pancreas and make her role as my diabetes educator defunct.

Gwen was extremely understanding and never passed judgement. Although she was not a diabetic herself, she was very experienced in dealing with young adults like myself and often referred to her experiences being a pretend diabetic. She was extremely supportive and was even prepared to come to my defence after I walked out of a less-than-supportive endocrinologist appointment on the verge of tears (which you can read more about here). She always made time for me if I needed it – I can even remember her once squeezing me in for a quick chat during her lunch break!

Over the course of a few months, we covered all the basics like the role of insulin, hypos, hypers, sick days, travel, exercise, carb counting and making lots of adjustments to my insulin doses. If there was something that I wanted to help me manage my diabetes, Gwen would get it for me. Like an insulin pen that could dial half units. Software so that I could download my blood glucose results onto the computer. Books to record my blood glucose readings. And anything else she thought I might find useful.

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Within a couple of months, Gwen felt confident that I didn’t need her anymore. I did have a couple of bumps throughout that journey, but that probably belongs in another post. Its worth noting that at the age of 17, learning to manage my diabetes was much easier than if I was younger. I used to see young children in there with their school uniforms, parents and other siblings. I really do count myself lucky.

One piece of advice from Gwen that I really wish I didn’t ignore was finding and connecting with other people with diabetes. I really do wish I’d found the support of the Diabetes Online Community sooner. Hell, there should be a mandatory session dedicated to the DOC!

I’m forever grateful for our amazing public healthcare system here in Oz. Through that hospital outpatient clinic, I have had access to any sort of service I need to manage my diabetes – podiatry, optometrist, dermatologist, dietician – and I still do, to this very day! If only some of the waiting lists weren’t so long… As Gwen would say, getting through all of those d-related appointments in my first year would be the hardest. And it would have been much harder if I was lumped with the financial burden of all those appointments too.

I’m also forever grateful to Gwen. I fondly remember her comfort and support after that nasty endocrinologist appointment. I can remember Mum wanting to buy her a small gift on my first Christmas with diabetes just to thank her for all her support during that first year. Support that I can still remember and still appreciate to this very day. Thanks, Gwen.