I simply wasn’t feeling in the spirit of World Diabetes Day yesterday. I didn’t wear blue. I’m not doing the daily photo challenges like many of my Facebook friends are during November. I settled for a walk over OzDOC last night. I don’t think I’ll be jumping into the World Diabetes Day chat today, either.
I’m at a point where I’m struggling to identify with all of the smiles and positivity and we-can-be-superheroes posts that are flooding my social media feeds at the moment.
I’m not channeling my inner superhero at the moment. If anything, I feel like my cape weighs a tonne and it’s dragging me back down to earth.
I don’t feel like a superhero when I crawl into bed at night, feeling exhausted from the long day that’s gone by.
I don’t feel like a superhero when I haven’t had a spare moment to put my feet up all day, feel the fresh air on my face or sun on my skin.
I don’t feel like a superhero when I’m doing the same boring (but necessary) diabetes management tasks over and over again.
It’s not like I’m drowning. Or that I don’t feel like I’m able to manage. But when you throw everything else into the mix, I really feel just how hard this is. The physical and mental effort that diabetes management takes away from the rest of my life is huge.
I’m not sure burnout is the right word here. But I’ve been struggling a bit lately, trying to find somewhat of a balance between managing my diabetes, keeping up with all of the other commitments I have going on in my life, and having some time out for myself every day. I’m at a point now where I’m really thinking about what I want to commit to over the upcoming year, and where I would like to take a step back or even let go.
Self care is a pretty big priority for me while I’m managing my diabetes.
Without self care, I’m not able to channel my inner superhero as often as I’d like.