Month: July 2017

Diabetes Disruptions

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Last night’s OzDOC chat on diabetes disruptions really put my mind to work. I can’t say that I think of diabetes as being disruptive all that often. Yet as I began to answer some of the chat questions, it became pretty clear to me that it was. Diabetes is disruptive. It’s disruptive to my day, it’s disruptive to my mindset and it’s disruptive to the people around me.

One disruption that easily comes to mind is the time I have previously wasted, obsessing over what I need to bring with me every time I leave the house. I tend to overthink things quite a bit, especially with the more time that I have up my sleeve.

How long will I be gone? How far away from home will I be? Am I going to be comfortable at the party with all of this crap weighing me down? Do I really need all the stuff I have brought with me?

I’ll spend far too much time tucking things into pockets and jackets, only to pull them out once again. Thankfully I now have my grey marle pencil case, with all my travel gear ready to go every time I head out.

Another disruption that comes to mind is the people around me. I am too nice of a person. While I don’t particularly feel the need to explain myself, I do feel conscious of the fact that I might not be polite to others. Like trying to find the right moment to excuse myself and walk away from someone who is talking to me.

Then there are days where diabetes puts a damper on my mood. Or I’m not having the best day, and having to deal with diabetes on top of it simply makes it worse. I’m more quiet, withdrawn, and probably don’t do my best at explaining this to the people around me. But I feel ridden with guilt for it afterwards.

I’m also really conscious of the perception toward diabetes that I’m feeding to others through my actions. I don’t want people to think that I’m ill or unwell. I’m quick to deflect people’s looks of pity with confident explanation of what I do to myself to manage. Okay, cutting the queue at Pathology yesterday probably didn’t help my cause, but you can’t live with this lousy condition without the occasional perk…

The one disruption that I would easily wish away is a low blood sugar. Correcting a high is easy enough. I’m pretty confident in my ability to keep tabs on pump failures and ketones. Yet a nasty low is enough to knock me sideways. It frustrates me that I can’t even go for a walk around the block without having to worry about going low.

While diabetes will continue to be disruptive in every which way that it pleases, always remember that you most certainly are not.

“Type 1 Diabetes. Fasting.”

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In times gone by, I would have hauled myself out of bed on a cold Winter’s morning much earlier than my liking. Blood sugar permitting, I would have dressed and made my way out the door while it was still dark outside. I would have started my car, and made the two minute drive down the road to my local Pathology centre. Despite walking in thirty minutes before collections begin, the first number available to me would likely have been a 4 or a 5.

I would have taken a seat and rolled my eyes at the table of ancient, frayed magazines. I would have pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up Facebook. I would have checked the current temperature outside in my trusty Weatherzone app. I probably would have been distracted momentarily by the Sunrise Cash Cow on the TV in the waiting room. I would have returned to my phone, this time moving onto Twitter. I would likely have returned to the weather, refreshing to see if it were any warmer outside. Once again, the TV would likely grasp my attention at the sight of the weather man out and about doing something silly. Returning to my phone, I’d open up the next app.

By this point, I’d be bored out of my brains. My empty stomach would be growling like crazy. To add to the torture, the coffee bar that was thoughtfully placed in a waiting room of fasting patients, would have opened for the day. I’d watch on as people flocked to it in droves for their morning caffeine fix, and forcing their banter upon my poor ears. I’d be constantly looking at my watch, despite the time being right in front of me on my iPhone screen. I’d start taking note of how many people were in front of me. I’d start wondering if number 3 was in there, telling the nurse their whole life story while I was desperately wanting to get out of there and start my day.

Thankfully, today was not the case.

I stayed in my warm bed until an hour of my choosing. I got dressed, and walked out the door into brilliant grey daylight. I drove down to Pathology, walked in and made my way to the counter where I announced:

“I’m here for a blood test. I have type 1 diabetes and I’m fasting.”

This morning there were no frayed mags, no coffee bar torture, no endless scrolling through Facebook, no stomach rumbling and no eye rolling at the Sunrise weather man. I walked straight through, waited for the two patients already in the room, and had my bloods done straight away.

I probably fed the attendant’s misconceptions about a diabetic needing to constantly eat to regulate his blood sugars. I probably felt a tinge of guilt for the other poor souls sitting there in the waiting room. 

But those people also didn’t have a broken pancreas to deal with. They weren’t course correcting a lower-than-they’d-like blood sugar before bed. They didn’t have to force themselves up to check their blood sugar when they stirred in their sleep at 4am this morning. They weren’t left scratching their head over why their blood sugar had risen from 5.4 to 8.8 in a few hours, when normally it sits stable.

I played the diabetes card today, and I’m not going to feel guilty for it.

It’s The Little Things

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It’s the little things.

It’s about making it easy to travel prepared whenever I leave the house (hello, grey marle pencil case).

It’s remembering to set a temporary basal rate on the lousy days where I want to spontaneously binge on cookies and ice cream, so that I can cruise through a little more easily.

It’s mastering the art of how many Skittles I need to raise my blood sugar by just 1mmol, and not 5.

It’s using a bit of intuition and overriding the ezBG suggestion on my pump when I don’t think that my blood sugar is going to come down.

It’s setting a temporary basal rate if I’m going for a short walk around the block this afternoon.

It’s making a habit of weighing my food on the red scales that sit next to the fruit bowl in the kitchen.

It’s learning the difference between bolusing for a banana, and bolusing for a Woolworths White Choc Macadamia Cookie (let me tell you that’s one hell of a difference).

It’s being observant to the fact that my insulin sensitivity is completely different when my blood sugar is out of range.

It’s learning how to bolus for the protein content in a meal.

It’s checking my blood sugar 1 or 2 hours after a meal, so that I can correct a high or stop a low in its tracks.

It’s cottoning onto the fact that my blood sugars will begin soaring upon waking if I don’t get a decent night’s sleep.

It’s remembering to check for air bubbles in my pump line, when my blood sugars won’t seem to come down.

It’s patiently waiting for my blood sugar to come down, and not over reacting to numbers and trend arrows.

It’s writing notes in my diary to jog my memory next time I do the same activity or eat the same food.

It’s being kind to myself, because learning these little things means making mistakes. Several times over.

During a demanding couple of weeks, I’ve watched myself do a lot of these little things like second nature.

I am far from perfect.

But it really is the sum of all these little things that I’ve picked up on along the way, that make managing my diabetes just that little bit easier.