The First Time That I Remember Diabetes Being There

I was standing in the bathroom, staring back at the reflection of my upper body in the mirror in disbelief. It had been a busy start to the year. I was still adjusting to my newfound freedom as uni student with a brand new driver’s license and my first “real” job. So, I guess it had been a while since I had taken the time to have a good, hard look at myself.

Had I always looked like this? I could see bones, and the outline of my ribcage on my chest. And was it just me, or was I looking awfully thin? Or was I simply driving myself crazy? There was no way. Not a chance in hell. I’d been stuck around the 63kg mark for years. I always felt as though I was a little overweight growing up. I could remember jumping on the trampoline and doing sittups, dreaming that I might lose some of the flab I could see every time I sat down. I was convinced I had completely lost my mind, but there was only one way that I could be sure.

I raced into the laundry, grabbed the bathroom scales, double checked that the red dial was set to zero and then jumped on them. For someone who had been stuck around the 63kg mark for much of high school, I now weighed just 47kg. And I was absolutely lost for words.

I knew that I had been feeling rather tired and deviod of energy lately, and happily dismissed the thought of anything being seriously wrong. I knew that I would have to do something about the reflection of that pale, skinny person staring back at me in the mirror. Tomorrow, I would have to start eating healthier. Tomorrow, I would have to try to eat more. And tomorrow, I would have to try to get myself into some sort of “healthy” routine.

Little did I know that I didn’t do anything to cause this. That my body was no longer producing insulin. That my body was unable to burn carbohydrates for fuel. And that my body was burning my stores of fat for energy as a consequence.

In that moment, I was in denial. In that moment, I had absolutely no idea that there was anything seriously wrong with me. And little did I know that in a matter of weeks, I would be diagnsed with type 1 diabetes.

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